The End is Nigh

Hermitage_from_insideThe End is Nigh,

It is all so quickly over. It seemed like yesterday watching mum soaking the split peas over the (single) granite sink back in the forties. Yet, thinking of the timespan between dinosaur and IPad, a couple of mere Nano- seconds later in our universe’s evolution, it is almost over. Well, give another ten years, or more, or less.

I was hardly over my Vitrectomy getting used to endless eye drops when I reached a new stage in my own evolution. I fell over. This is a new stage I seem to have arrived at.

One of the things in growing more mature is that sleep will become more evasive. I used the word ‘more mature’ for others and not in my case. I have reversed in most of my tepid evolutionary efforts and am surprised I can still walk the talk.

We have an unwritten conjugal agreement that whoever can’t sleep moves elsewhere. Those that do sleep ought to be given preference over the restless tossing and turning insomniac. This not unreasonable. A disclaimer to this rule is when the snoring of the sleeper is so loud and disruptive that the non-sleeper is prevented from even closing one’s eyes. The air vibrates and white knuckled neighbours are knocking on walls or even ceilings, a paddy wagon is waiting outside the front door with baton drawn policeman waiting.

It was one of those nights that my lovely H padded me firmly in the ribs (followed by a kick in the groin😉 ). “You are snoring”, she said with her lovely sonorous voice, not wishing to be unloving or unkind. “Go upstairs”, followed by, “put on the electric blanket, it will soon be less icy.” Those that know and understand the quality of a deep sleep finally arrived at after many nights of somnambulistic adventures would understand the sacrifice and heroic efforts in relinquishing and renouncing this supreme and rare state of bliss and being.

I grabbed my still warm and favourite pillow and stumbled to the upstairs bedroom. It was dark and very cold when I walked into the frigidly empty and lonely bedroom. I normally take the side nearest the window and with an outside light giving some direction I managed to get within a meter or so of my bed when it all happened. I was so needy for a soft mattress and so close.
One of the most disconcerting experiences surely would have to be stopped in one’s forward motion tract totally involuntary.

That’s what happened. As I, what I thought, would be my last final step to the mattress, my right footed plans to go forward were thwarted by getting caught into my left footed leg of my pyjama. It was the most startling surprise of my life almost overtaking that of entering the St. Petersburg Hermitage Museum back in1989.

I fell heavily forward and found myself between window and bed on the floor. I could hardly believe it. Such a strange event and in the middle of the night. I made the most of the situation by calmly surveying any possible damage. I could just about move all my parts and when I got over the shock raised myself up and went back to the door to put the light on. I steadied myself against the doorframe rubbing my forehead pensively, reflecting on that odd fall. It was then when H appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “What happened, what was that loud bang”, she asked looking up at me, still leaning.

”I fell heavily”, I answered John Wayne like in need of sympathy or at least the offer of a Band-Aid. “How”, she asked? I then explained about the pyjama leg catching my leg in forward motion to my bed and showed her the actual spot of impact. No blood, no nothing, no Band-Aid.

Go to bed now, she said. (Don’t fall)

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47 Responses to “The End is Nigh”

  1. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Oh dear, being woken up from deep sleep then booted out of the marital bed is not fun. Add to that the indignity of then falling over! Where’s a band aid when you need one😦

    This afternoon I’ve been listening to Robert Frost reading some of his poems. I adore his poetry and find it immensely comforting. I leave you with this Gerard, a band aid for the soul and I’m hope that you will agree, ‘…..One could do worse than be a swinger of birches’

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Lovely poetry. Today is National voting day and predictions are dire, so, I’ll just think of Indonesian loos and use images of the future PM for loo paper, a bit cruel but that’s how bad it looks. ( anyway, he is going to abolish carbon tax, a criminal act in my opinion. He said he doesn’t believe in climate change because…you can’t see it’.’)

      Like

      • Rosie Says:

        Lottie – thank you for the Robert Frost clip – I have since you-tubed more of his recitations. Love his poetry and did not know they were on you-tube. Gerard – I do know about falls – have had a few. My brain seems to not realise that the limbs can no longer move in co-ordination. As for your mention of National voting day – I fear it will be a case of “Poor Fellow – My Country”.

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      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Rosie:
        No, this is my first fall, a new era has arrived. It is Sat 5.30 PM and Helvi said she is not going to watch the results of voting on TV. I wonder if a miracle will still occur?

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      • Rosie Says:

        I, too, was not going to watch the election results but have decided I must. I have just cooked some fillets of fresh fish and poured myself a glass of red. I will be skype-messaging my son in China and texting my daughter in Queensland when she finishes work about 11 pm. Neither of them can believe that Australians will vote for the Coalition policies. I think tomorrow will be a sad day for Australia if Abbott wins. I cannot imagine living under an Abbott Government.

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      • gerard oosterman Says:

        This is exactly the time to re-group and with the support of all those already confirmed ALP diehards, to form a groundswell of opposition and get Abbott’s rag tag scowling government run into the kerbs and gutters of Canberra as soon as possible. Get your crow bars out of the sheds of discontent, unfurl the Yakka bib and braces, put on your blunt-stones and start climbing over the colour bond fenced backyards of the Libs.
        Teach them a lesson they won’t forget.

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      • Rosie Says:

        They are fighting words Gerard. Well said and so right. May the revolution begin!

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      • Rosie Says:

        And where will Mainstream Murdoch Media direct their hatred now that they have their man in the top job?

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      • gerard oosterman Says:

        I have noticed the Daily Telegraph already attacking the opposition( ALP).

        Like

    • Rosie Says:

      Two laughs doing the rounds on Twitter tonight:

      The Indonesian Navy have picked up a boatload of Australian asylum seekers off the coast of Sumatra.

      Australia is leaning so far to the right it has crashed into New Zealand.

      Like

  2. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    I keep two other beds in readiness for my non-sleeping nights. My husband sleeps when he sees his pillow, lucky blighter. I don’t think it would be worth the effort of waking him and making him walk the walk for snoring in the night (mercifully rare) or sleep-talking/sleep-fighting (more frequent). I do sympathise with the misery of being woken up on the one night you have got off to sleep at a sane hour. A few nights ago I was woken by the alert ‘There’s a mozzie in the room!’ I wasted a fruitless ten minutes searching for the blighter and another hour or so seeking slumber again.

    Like

  3. gerard oosterman Says:

    I am glad you got similar arrangements, 2 beds! You mean two beds in one night? Our arrangement is in flux again. H is now scared I might fall again and she goes upstairs when I snore. It never stops, does it?

    Like

    • hilarycustancegreen Says:

      No, only one on any one night, but I like the luxury of choice.

      Like

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        We had a bit of bed swapping around last night. It was election night and we knew our beloved Labor party would be in for a beating. We just followed it on the internet and with wine etc. did not get into bed till late.
        Helvi first read but I fell asleep within seconds. I woke up fresh but no H. next to me.
        Another day, and spring is looking lovely.

        Like

  4. chris hunter Says:

    My partner and I have two bedrooms full made up. Usually I make the trek and when I do and mercifully get sleep I often wake up and lo! somebody has followed me….

    Whitby looks like a busy harbour town – as seen on Heartbeat…

    Nice work Gerard, Helvi…

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Thanks Chris.
      Whitby would be nice right now. We fear the next few hours! Still, we can always keep stirring the pot and give il’connue and all her aliases heaps. Helvi has honed her talent in spotting her into a fine art. Yes, we now have 2 rooms ready for sleeping by either one of us and so far haven’t met on the stairs in opposite directions. I suppose we would exchange a nice hello or good night, sleep tight.😉

      Like

  5. Office Diva Says:

    Oh dear, I am so glad to hear that you were not injured in your fall. You are so fortunate! You recently mentioned you were considering taking a trip somewhere. I know you didn’t plan on it being quite so soon or involving exile to Snoring Siberia or being taken down by the Pajama Leg factor.
    Here’s wishing you and the lovely H restful nights and no midnight walks necessary. Happy Saturday to you.

    Like

  6. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes Diva, happy Saturday is what we need, considering we might get a hopeless right-wing ratbag as PM. Do you think I should cut the pyjama legs and avoid tripping over?
    Do you do voodoo? If so, stick needles into politicians that ignore climate change. Taa.

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  7. auntyuta Says:

    This is a lovely subject you brought up here, Gerard. First of all I want to wish you and H at least ten more lovely years of togetherness!🙂 I tend to wish this for Peter and me as well!
    🙂 And I can tell you that our sleeping patterns are usually rather dissimilar. Peter doesn’t like me getting up very early in the morning. And I often cannot sleep past 4 or 5am! But at night-time I often fall asleep long before Peter puts his book away he happens to be reading so that he can go to sleep.
    Snoring, would this be a form of sleep apnoea? If it worries you, I think you can get treatment for it! I used to sometimes snore a bit. When this happened, Peter would wake me by giving me a huge push which I greatly disliked. I ask myself, if my snoring disturbed him, why on earth couldn’t he retreat to the spare room? His hearing is so bad, I think in the other room he would not have been able to hear it. Ah well, luckily I don’t snore anymore. At least Peter doesn’t complain about it any more.
    When I have to visit the bathroom during the night, I tend to switch my bedside light on. If it wakes Peter, too bad. I do not want to have a fall in the dark of the night! In the past I often tapped around in the dark and had some near falls. A bit of light helps a lot in overcoming some dizziness!

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  8. gerard oosterman Says:

    Auntyuta,
    Many years for you and Peter too and may those years be as gentle and colourful as the nodding daffodils in our garden.

    I or Helvi don’t always snore and the help available is worse than the cure. Some kind of device that gives oxygen through your nose and it prevents you from turning over. My brother tried this at some expense and it was easier just to sleep in a different room.
    The best is to get up and warm some milk and honey or… go to another room. I am deaf in both ears so, snoring does have to be very loud to keep me awake.
    When H snores I often feel happy that at least she is sleeping.
    Odd that sleep becomes sometimes so elusive. There are so many events one has experienced during life that I tend to mull over during the night, and that is not helpful. Is it?

    Like

    • berlioz1935 Says:

      You are writing very amusingly about a serious problem, dear Gerard. The devise you are talking about is not so much to give you a good night’s sleep but mainly to stop you from dying a hundred times a night. The danger is, that one of the deaths could be the last. Cocoa or hot milk might relax you but will not cure sleep apnoea.

      Like

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Yes, Peter. You are right and it is serious. My brother hired one of those machines that controls snoring but his wife felt sorry for him. He could not turn around because of the attachments to his face.
        He gave up and gone back to normal sleeping which includes bouts of snoring.
        While death is not to be sneered at, a consolation might be that afterwards one is not in a position to look back and think; gee it would be nice to have another latte at the Berlin Café or a pizza from the Parthenon.😉

        Like

  9. chris hunter Says:

    Already Abbott is looking at “three years” to stop the boats and get rid of the carbon tax. Also it has emerged that the new government are not going to announce boat arrivals! Speers is already in defence mode defending Abbott’s 3 Year plan, questioned by Van Onselen and Paul Murray. The Abbott weasel words are up and running…

    Like

    • Rosie Says:

      And now the payback to Murdoch begins. Interesting to note that Gina Reinhardt attended Barnaby Joyces’ victory party in Tamworth last night.

      Like

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        The first thing is to start afresh. Put on the khaki bib & brace, don the bluntstones and make for Canberra at the crack of dawn. I have already prepared small bunches of stripped birch twigs soaked overnight in cow’s urine to make them supple, nice and whippy.
        I know where Abbott keeps his bike in the small courtyard on the left of where the exit is at Parliament house. This yard has a few Lleyandi conifers to hide behind.
        We meet there well before 7am and I’ll distribute the birch twig bunches. Make sure you all have masks over your heads with holes for beady eyes, glinting with revenge. I’ll bring a thermos with coffee and some almond biscuits.
        At about 7.45am when Abbott normally comes out for his bike trip he, without fail, adjusts his bike saddle. As he bends over, jump at him from behind the conifers. Surprise is the essence. Then, gloriously and without reserve, lay into him. Go on ,give it to him. Flail him till he whimpers for mercy. Let him have it. Don’t hold back. Make sure you all have a turn. Does it not feel better already? Abbott won’t forget!
        After that I have planned something with essence of garlic and the fresh air inlet pipe of his Audi.
        Watch this space.

        Like

      • chris hunter Says:

        I love almond biscuits. Count me in. Only thing though, will Tony enjoy the flagellation?

        Like

      • Rosie Says:

        Me too, almond thins from belgium are the perfect accompaniment with coffee. Chris, my first thought too, was – will he just enjoy it and beg for more? Your sense of humour, Gerard, is much needed today. Thank you. We can only keep talking to people and showing them alternate opinions.

        Like

      • chris hunter Says:

        Rosie, I never let humour get in the way of a good joke…

        Like

    • berlioz1935 Says:

      Hi Chris, not announcing the boat arrivals means also, that you keep the detention centres off the news and the number of the inmates a secret. The Nazis in Germany did this and the German people claimed later they did not know anything about them. Yes, you can control the news to a certain extent. Prepare yourself for future whistle blowers. Of course they will be penalised for endangering our borders. The Abbott government will be an immoral beast.

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  10. auntyuta Says:

    Hi, Gerard. did you watch Talking Pictures this morning?
    Now you can go back to sleep!🙂

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      No, we did not. Why? Was it interesting? We haven’t watched that program much lately. It seemed so biased last time we looked. With IT overtaking and displacing so many jobs, many journos have no option but to toe the political line of their masters.
      The ABC’s managing director, Mark Scott was/is a Howard appointee…so!

      Like

      • auntyuta Says:

        I say it was very interesting. And Talking Pictures was just hilarious. I think right up your alley.
        There was another half hour added to the special Insight program just talking about the senate. If I had known everything that they discussed in this program I might have voted differently for the senate.
        But then came talking pictures along. Laugh, laugh, laugh and my worries were blown away, sort off.
        I ask you, what’s the use of fighting all the time? Still, in a democracy we still have a say in a lot of things, do we not?
        Didn’t Keating say it’s better to fight in parliament than in the street? Gillard was good in parliament. She was also a great manager and did a lot of good things for Australia. But she was drifting too far to the right because of the constant attacks by the opposition. In the end I didn’t believe that she was still a Labor person. Rudd made Labor viable again. Why on earth did they have to exchange Gillard for him in the first place? From my point of view this was a major mistake.

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      • chris hunter Says:

        totally agree with your assessment auntyuta.

        Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Totally agree. On hindsight everything is always easy. Rudd’s unpopular carbon tax/ mining tax was used to replace him with Gillard, then came the reverse. It all became too much and this was used by the media to unhinge the lot.
      With Abbott we can look forward to a good sleep whereby the rich will be pampered and the poor queuing at soup kitchens and park sleeping.

      Like

  11. auntyuta Says:

    Yes, now you can sleep in peace. Forget about the whipping, The nightmare is over. Another dawn is on the horizon ….

    Like

    • auntyuta Says:

      I may have made a BOO.BOO in my earlier comment. I wrote that Gillard was exchanged for Rudd earlier on. But the big mistake was actually that Rudd was exchanged, wasn’t it? Why they wanted to get rid of Rudd as leader I will never understand . . . .
      Ah well, some people might think it is dangerous to have a leader that popular with the people. So they have to throw mud on him. Very sad, very sad.

      Like

      • berlioz1935 Says:

        Dear AuntyUta, they, including Gillard, told Rudd to drop the carbon tax and when the polls went south for him because of that. they got rid of him. His mistake was not to go for the double dissolution. Over popular people are always seen as a danger to the establishment. Jesus, Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr are good examples of it. Colleen McCullough wrote a novel about this theme, “A Creed for the The Millennium”.

        Like

    • auntyuta Says:

      Anyhow, time will tell. We always have to cling to some hope. I think this is important. That what is good should survive no matter what. Yes, I do believe this.🙂

      Like

  12. petspeopleandlife Says:

    Good for you that you did not injure any body parts. “Twood” have been awful if you had broken a hip.

    Mrs O is too funny. “Now go to bed” or something to that effect. No sympathy at all for you there. The answer is to go to sleep in separate rooms and then one need not trip around in the middle of the night.

    Sleep apnea is dangerous as one commenter mentioned. Your brother chucking his machine aside does not mean that it is going to be the same for you. Please get yourself checked out. People with sleep apnea are more likely to have a heart attack.

    Sorry to be sounding so negative but we like you and your fine blog. I know that I “speak” for all your followers.

    Like

  13. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, while sleep apnoea is serious, mine isn’t in that category, having seen the quack. My brother who does have this also happens to be over-weight and is on medication. Both H and I don’t take medication or have weight problem. Thank you for your kindness and consideration. On the whole we sleep very well and most times wake up refreshed and bouncy!😉

    Like

  14. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Spouses can be so unfeeling! We seem to become more unstable as maturity overtakes us. I say this advisedly, though I have (knock on wood) not fallen at this point. I use a cane and at night when I blog in the middle of the night, I use a flashlight. Just a word to the wise. Glad you didn’t hurt much beside your pride. We’d hate to lose your good stuff. When in hospital the other day, a woman had broken her hip simply by turning quickly, so be careful. She said she was taking Zimba lessons.

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes Sweet Kayti, I heed your (sage) advice. We are both a bit sore this morning. Last night we unexpectedly, after a glass of Brazilian orange juice, broke out into a wild, spontaneous and tempestuous dance and did a Lambada. Milo looked frightened.
      We should have just done a calm Fox-trot.

      Like

  15. chris hunter Says:

    jungle juice?

    Like

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