Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’

Avoid getting Face-Booked

June 4, 2012

Don’t get ‘Face-Booked’.

‘One is often lost for words’.

It is a nice expression but apart from the dumb being lost for words and perhaps the catatonically depressed, it is not true for most of us. Surely those that can speak have words to say? I know that in the world of IT and SMS many words are now at risk of disappearing. Scores are lining up and join the club of text and twitter (TnT). A  new language has been born, almost overnight. We now do ‘lol and Rolf’ with the best of them. We are anxious and forever on our qui vive,  not to be seen as total IT oafs and risk being left behind.

My new mobile has a most irritating habit of giving complete words when texting a message in letters. Boy, did I get close disemboweling myself while Rolfing on the floor with this predictive texting. How do people know all those ways of setting the technical boundaries on their equipment? With the new mobile which I thought was about the simplest one can buy, there are still too many features. It would lock when not in use. The instructions to unlock were mysterious because it would abbreviate without explaining what the abbreviations stood for. This is another source for hurling the cat around. Why is so much now abbreviated? Is there something wrong with a word that is complete?

The irony of texting giving complete words when one just wants to write a single letter gets completely lost on the TnT (text ‘n twitter) aficionados when they  go and twitter using single letters almost exclusively or, at best abbreviated abbreviations. I must confess though, I too have become entangled betwixt text and twitter. Yet, I am not bored, just old and short tempered with abbreviations; it doesn’t help anyone with looming Alzheimer  to try and deal with de-ciphering ‘http, cred, FSG Cdis and F.offs including 2finger etc. We all know that Twitter only accepts 140 characters including punctuation, dicritals and periodos. To say the most with the least is the Art of tweeting. Some tweets have been so succinct they have made their writers instant millionaires.

Not so lucky are those that piled into Face-book shares. With the price on day of listing at $38US they are now trading at $26.72, that’s  down 30%. Right now we are witnessing the birth of a new verb and it is ‘to face-book’. Many claim to have fallen victim and have been fatally ‘face-booked’. It means to have been lulled into something by mass hysteria.

The fanfare surrounding Face-Book listing was the culprit. The reality was so obvious and so clear, to stay away from the public listing, but many could not resist the hoopla and wanted but wasted a lot of money. Face-book’s clientele of 900 million spend about a $ 1.70 a day per person. Now compared with Amazon which clocks in at $ 32.50 per person, it makes the Face book share not much more worth than $ 7.50 per share. The market is betting that Face Book (FB) is going down with put options outpacing call options. A put option is an option whereby you sell at the present price but don’t settle till a later date hoping the price has gone down so your settlement amount is less than when you sold them for the higher price.  A call option is the opposite and bullish in nature.

I don’t know why I went off at a tangent into the share market but there you are, take it or leave it.

At least I still have words and so far have avoided having been ‘Face-Booked.’

How to avoid strangling a Belgian Draught Horse.

May 27, 2012

For many days my Twitter and Face book were out of action. The word ‘Twitter’, even when looked up on ‘Google’, would send shivers through my computer. The page would freeze, go stiff with rigor mortis and turn blue and incoherent. It turned out that ‘Blue Screen Page’ is a well known phenomenon. No one knows why, but scientists and engineers are working on it. There are a host of web- sides claiming they can cure Blue Screen. Those sides promise to be helpful and start off with a free scan and a further promise to clear it in less than 2 minutes. Not true. The free scan just turns you almost into a jellified blob of rage when showing their scan result. I was told, despite having Norton security, I had 129 viruses and 766 ‘problems’ on my computer. But… for $29. – (US) by credit card you will be Face-booking and Twittering again within a couple of minutes. Everything in the US seems to be measured in two minute time spans. Things move very fast there.

As soon as I see that the ‘free’ scan is a scam I naturally delete the page. Not so fast though governor!  Turns out those free US based scam web pages are difficult to delete. Most don’t have a delete option. Over and over, one is urged to down-load the credit card option and pay up. No wonder capitalism is in trouble, the cheek of it all.  I thought by turning off the computer I would get rid of those ‘free’ scan merchants. Not at all. I switch back on, and there is that same persistent page again. After a lot of moving backwards and forwards the scammers finally gave up the ghost.

I decided to take firm action and took the laptop to a reputable (non free-scan 2 minute) computer shop run by very young but savvy experts. They helped me before with a problem without even charging me. Always a good sign! They switched on the laptop and… it worked perfectly. There was my familiar Tweet page and Face-book. I couldn’t believe it. He put it into my list of favorites, “Gerard Twitter.” No charge again. Boy, was I on a roll?  Was so happy I shouted regular latte coffees and Danish delights all around for the two of us.

After doing some shopping at Aldi and walking home I did not give the Tweeting a second thought. That shows how supremely confident I was. Later on in the evening after a couple of Merlots, I felt like a good Tweet. It only needs a few words, so what the heck. With Face-booking I always feel it needs a more serious and literate level of involvement. That’s why I usually, but not always, do the Face-booking in the morning after a good night’s rest.

I opened the lid of the laptop and after a few seconds the home page arrived. I went to my list of favorites, just relishing the moment and allowing the luxury of hovering above “Gerard Twitter” button… and….. The Blue screen page was back on again. I was devastated, crestfallen. A blind fury welling up, totally lost for words.  Fuck Face-booking, fuck Tweeting and Fuck life.

Life is just like that. We move around getting involved into the ambit of things that can go wrong. Perhaps excluding relationships, there is nothing quite like the Internet Technology world whereby one walks a fine line between remaining sane or hovering on the edge of going out in the deep of a dark night and strangle a sheep or a Belgian draught horse. The world of IT including Iphone, pads, kindles and Apps is there to try our mettle. Have we got what it takes? Will we survive or end up smashed on the rocks of Blue Screen phenomena?

I survived and am here to tell the tale. What was the solution and how did the logistics of the Blue Screen Page get repaired. My daughter told me to always try and switch off the computer and then the router. I had switched everything off many times but not the router which gives me the ADSL internet connection through Telstra phone line.  I went downstairs in the bedroom where both phone and router are next to my bed blinking away intermittently. I switched all off and waited. I switched all on again and climbed upstairs to my computer. It all worked. Twitter and Face Book are back. Hoorah! I try and not think why Helvi’s computer never had this Blue Screen and yet uses the same connections. But there you are. That’s the devious world of IT. Never question it. Acceptance is the answer.

Never take it out on the Belgian Draught Horse.