Posts Tagged ‘suicide’

Doctor will see you now.

July 4, 2017
IMG_0696

The sun is out.

It is surprising how it has turned around. Years ago, if one was crook, doctors would do home-visits. Before doctor’s arrival, Mother would give the house a peremptory clean-up with the toilet-brush swirling vigorously around the bowl, then a quick flush. All was aired. The kitchen given a quick scan and dishes put away. The patient, one of us children, would lie prone in bed wearing a suitable pallor, indicating the illness was genuine, dispelling any doubt he or she could have gone to the Doctor’s Practice instead.

Most doctors now have moved into collective groups and in my own case it’s almost like going to the pictures. One enters a large building with doors sensing patient’s arrival opening up, before your trembling hand is even within reach of the glass. Germs are well contained within the patient’s own bodily confines. This collective groups of doctors are now called ‘Medical Centre,’ all housed under the same roof. One almost expects the possibility of the Centre  to address other issues as well, perhaps selling vacuum cleaners or prosthesis’.

For the over seventy-five, the driver’s license can only be renewed after an obligatory medical test. One of the questions I faced a few weeks ago was; if nurturing ‘suicidal thoughts’ were obvious. I can’t imagine a patient entering Doctor’s office with a length of rope scanning the ceiling for any suitable hooks to hang oneself from. How does one nurture suicidal thoughts ‘obviously?’

Of the few times I see a doctor, there are always rows of patients seated next to each other in the waiting-room. I am idling some time away trying to figure out their ailments. A bandage here and there makes this guessing easy. It get’s a bit tricker when nothing apparent is visible. Last time I noticed a woman with a very red face as if she had been the aim in a beetroot throwing party. She could have high blood pressure. With healthy men I wonder if they are seeking a repeat prescription for Viagra, especially if they look a bit tense or shifty. I believe Viagra ordered on-line is risky. There have been cases where the Viagra was just an aspirin with the patience of the partner finally running out and romance flagging so sadly.

My Medical Centre waiting room had a number of rooms attached in which the different doctors would see their patients by calling out their names. Of course, with average patient’s age ripening, the hearing aids feature plentiful. That’s why doctors now call out the names much louder than let’s say 10 years ago. It won’t be long and doctors will hold high, boards with names on it.

My waiting room has an aquarium with listless gold-fishes just swimming around oblivious to any ailments or physical shortcomings of the surrounding people. At the bottom of this aquarium nestles a Tudor castle and some plastic trees. What disturbed or factious genius thought up building a castle underneath water and then proceed to drown trees? No wonder the gold-fish are listless. Above this  watery oddity is a TV screen giving patients now a second options in loosing their minds. This TV is showing the local temperature interspersed with a quiz testing medical knowledge. One question asked if flu was caused by bacteria or virus? Most of the questions gave three or four possibilities or answers. One had to guess correctly by answering  a, b, c, or whatever.

The TV is not really looked at. Even the elderly are checking their iPhones now, bent over little screens, little sighs sometimes escape.  Getting old is not without sighs.

Years ago we held wild parties. I remember a woman coming out of our bedroom, totally dishevelled at 4am. She had crashed out on our bed. She woke up and ambled into the lounge-room where some of us were still going on, rambling about politics or the state of the Vietnam war. ‘Is there another cold one in the fridge,’ she asked? We never even knew who she was or what she was doing. That’s how casual it all was. It did not matter, she had played the piano earlier on. Not a care in the world.

Now, I am sitting in a waiting room at a Medical Centre also wearing hearing aids. What’s going on?

 

Vapid verbiage from Government. ( and seniors)

October 20, 2016
Put and call options.

Put and call options.

The problem with old and ageing retirees. They have so much past and much less future. Till some magic pill is discovered that will make us go to two hundred, at the moment the bell tolls for those over seventy. Time is running out. Yet time is also most in supply. There is so much of it. It is no wonder they take to vacuuming and mobility scooters. Their engagements with bowels and Aldi become more important as years go by. It gives us something to talk about.

But, given the latest on the Australian News, Parliamentarians are not any better. While the old might bore us to tears about their toilet plights or daily routines, the Government’s endless drivel about the advantage of five over seven bullet Adler guns is not giving us much relief either. Watching TV News is what drives us more and more to drugs, reading books, scrabble and eating chocolate.

I was surprised when someone knocked on our door. It’s not all that often we get visitors. I opened the door. A girl stood there who kept looking nervously over her shoulder. Was she going to sell me heroin? It turned out there were two of them. She asked if I would look at a magazine. By the look of both of them I was sure it wasn’t a dirty picture book. It turned out to be ‘The Watchtower.’ ‘God is here to save us all’, she started boldly. I smiled friendly and this encouraged her to read something from a biblical St.Paul. I stepped in. I thanked her for the visit and told her I was hard of hearing and strengthened my argument by also telling her that both hearing aids had flat batteries. It was half true. One of the hearing aid was giving me the familiar beep heralding the end of the battery. They left after that unconvincing excuse. My guilt went into automatic.

I have an unfriendly sticker on my door as well: ‘do not knock.’ We used to get so many Foreign Students trying to make us change our Gas and Electricity accounts. We relented a couple of times. Our British neighbours are forever blaming ‘foreigners’ As a general rule, the darker the skin, the more they are suspect. A few weeks ago some plants were stolen. This caused great consternation in our housing compound. Some reckoned it was (dark) Isis, others claimed we stole them ourselves. There is just nothing about some elderly people’s fantasies that eggs them on to the most absurd conclusions. They have all that time. I put up posters stating ‘Thieves About.’ Since then we have installed a CCTV camera and a solar movement device that lights up each time movement is detected outside our front door. I have tried the device out night after night and it works brilliantly. Even after a couple of dark days.

I decided to take one of those Google psychological test to find out if one was still within a range of being normal. The first one came out with a score of 33 which took me to a dangerous level of being psychotic. It urged me to talk to a councillor which had her phone number at the bottom of the test. I was flummoxed. I went downstairs to reflect or relish on the latest gloom. After a disturbing nap, I took a different test. It came out worse. It even had a little red flag. I had apparently mused over the word ‘suicide,’ as a result over a question, ‘have you ever thought about suicide?’ You were to answer; never, sometimes, often or always! I answered ‘sometimes.’ After many question I was urged pronto to immediately seek a good shrink. No guessing their phone numbers were well advertised below. I could understand ‘always’ but just ‘sometimes?’

In any brain are embedded all sorts of possibilities of thoughts. Life, death, birth, young and old, car driving, walking, bungie jumping and…suicide. Not as a desire but food for reflection. I prefer not to restrict my thoughts.

It seems that using a word raises red flags. I would have thought the idea of importing Adler rapid self loading Guns to be far more indicative of the mental state of our Government.

They are the real nuts.