Posts Tagged ‘Mattias Cormann’

Slap the condom , do it now. Your Country needs you

May 14, 2014

Put down that brick granny. Stop swinging the bicycle chain around Canberra Merv, you’ll get locked up! There are already dartboards for sale with Joe Hockey’s face as the target. It is mean but that’s what you get for tacking country’s perceived plight onto those already groaning under difficulties. I say ‘perceived’ because our financial situation regards debt is the envy of the world.

I remember some many years back buying toilet paper rolls with the previous Prime minister Malcolm Frazer’s face printed on every sheet. Boy, were we generous with using multiple sheets each time we used the loo. No stinginess then. No doubt, this will happen again. I wonder if we pensioners should pool our meagre finances and go into the production of cigar flavoured condoms with the images of Joe Hockey and Cormann embossed at the receiving tip of them. They might get used in the backseat of a rusty Holden ‘Special’ or inside a cavernous Bunnings store. (near the barbecue division when no one is looking)

Yet, much of Frazer’s earlier political shenanigans have softened and indeed, he has come good, often speaking in support of the underdog. But….he did resign from the Liberal party. Amazing a former Prime minister losing faith in a party that he gave much of his life for. Can you imagine both of the Bushes doing the same in the US? There is hope for all of us in this.

Rubber revolution

Rubber revolution

Look granny, who is walking right now around Canberra’s Burley’s lake? Is it Joe our treasurer? Yes, it is. Quick, put down the brick, here is a condom. Get him granny, and slap him with it. Go on, slap him with the condom, harder harder. That’s it, thrash him. Lay into him. Teach him a lesson he won’t forget. Make him smoke! Don’t stop now.

Ah, that feels better already doesn’t it?