The ‘Birthday box of useful Presents’.

many years ago

It is here again. I had forgotten but face-book reminded me of a looming birthday. Is there no escape? How do they know all those details. Does the IT world now also check up on my underwear swinging in morn’s breeze? Will I get reminders to shower or cut my nails? I had a twitter message from a far away relative in Finland. Can you believe this? The whole world seems to anticipate my own and utterly single future event. There is still time for me to cark it before this 7th of August has even arrived. Such optimism is wonderful. I stand in awe and am so grateful.

Not only that, but the Goulburn Workers Club posted me, by normal mail, a ‘happy birthday’ including four gifts. I can spend up to $25.- on a meal and get the same value of a second meal gratis. I could sneak out to Goulburn and order two huge meals all by myself or…invite the lovely H to participate and share this feast with…a free middy of beer or…a free glass of house wine, each. It doesn’t stop there. The third gift is a token of $ 5.- to play Keno. I never played Keno but it is never too late. It sounds terrific. The fourth and final gift is a chance to win $ 500.- and simply place the ticket in the drum of ‘happy birthday members’. It just never stops.

Problem of birthdays for those of advancing years is what to want to receive. I would like a nicely wrapped box with a ribbon (blue) of blissful uninterrupted sleep without having to go up to four times a night to the toilet. That would be nice. Another one would be to be able to drink half a bottle of fine red wine without having to suffer up to a fortnight of racking indigestion with an unforgiving brooding sense of an overriding guilt that can only be relieved by copious amounts of a smooth all absolving large bucket of butter milk.

Another fine gift would be a large box of instant recall of names and useless memories and events of all those years gone by. Who wrote this book? What was the name of that politician or this actress? What was the time we sat in the park and a bird snatched our sandwich was that before or after we visited Genoa? Do you remember the name of the captain on the Roma that you danced with?