Cheerful.

Image result for cheerfulness drawing

Helvi said, just out of the blue. ‘You are not so cheerful lately, Gerard’. ‘Is something the matter?’ I am suspicious of too much cheerfulness. It can be exhausting to be with people who are so busy being cheerful. What are they hiding? Anyway, I took notice of what I was told. I promised to look into  it.

Part of the problem is the news. Women can be so nasty. I can’t believed how Emma Husar was treated.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-24/embattled-labor-mp-emma-husar-takes-personal-leave/10030986

Women can be nice and caring to other women as long as they are not prettier in looks or higher up the professional scale. They are more ruthless in their bitchiness than men. Men often support each other, even giving the other man a bit of a leg up. I know they can be bastards too. But for backstabbing and demolishing; in many cases women outdo men.

Of course, for a while the ‘Me Too’ movement had me convinced men were the worst of the five sexes. I could hardly look myself in the mirror. I am so careful  at the check-outs at Aldi’s. I keep at least three feet away from the trolley in front if a woman is in charge. I now look at onions instead of a cleavage. I don’t want to be hauled away by the police.

Female bitchiness start young. Even at school age they can’t wait to claw and tear into each other. Mother and daughter relationships are often more volatile than males. In the bullying on-line, it’s the girls that seem to outdo the boys. Females are supposed to be the nurturers. But why is that so often lacking between the women? Perhaps they are forever competing with each other. Wanting to be better dressers, better mothers, better shoppers, better looking. I don’t think men do that. If a woman notices  the same dress being worn by someone else, they feel mortified. Can you imagine a man noticing another one wearing the same jacket, tie or shoes? They could not care less.

On the other hand one can hardly enthuse about Trump or cheer our own version of Malcolm Turnbull. Hardly role models for compassion and effusive caring or sharing. It is so difficult. By now I ought to have firm views about those matters. With ageing there is no clearer insight. Perhaps cheerfulness is poisoned by news.

I did feel cheerful this morning at about 8.20 when the news came about that the senator who used the term ‘final solution’ to strengthen his idea of banning all Muslims from entering Australia was condemned by all parties. My cheerfulness lasted more than twelve minutes.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/aug/15/mps-widely-condemn-fraser-annings-final-solution-speech

Can you believe it?

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22 Responses to “Cheerful.”

  1. Lynn Thaler Says:

    “Final Solution” – sounds very NAZI like
    I’m glad that idea was condemned by all parties.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      It was the Senator’s maiden speech, Lynn. Can you believe it? After the speech, he was clapped and given approving handshakes by his fellow party members.
      We can’t just ignore how the extreme right is now getting a foothold once again.
      The Government was united in condemning him. But the minister for Border Control and immigration, who also condemned the new senator, is keeping hundreds of mainly Islamic refugees with children in indefinite detention.
      How does that square up?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. DisandDat Says:

    It’s Queensland again. Is something wrong with the water that causes red neck syndrome. Nice people should get out of there, move to another state while they can !
    Trolleys driven by females, distance, clevage, hauled away by police. Brilliant. I nearly wet myself from laughter.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. petspeopleandlife Says:

    Oh boy, do I ever like this post. You can be really funny at times and this post made me giggle for a good 5-7 seconds. I am not being sarcastic. That might be a record for me. I am not overly cheerful either. What is there to be happy about other than to be thankful that I am still alive and in fairly good heath, except for a few minor or major set backs, depending on one’s perspective. Sarcasm aside. I feel very grateful. So therefore I happy but not cheerful, Oh gee, that makes no sense.

    Probably you are correct about women being jealous and bitches. But men are pretty ruthless too, you know.

    DisandDat used the phrase “red neck syndrome.” I love it. There are lots of red necks in my neck of the woods.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Ivonne. Humour gives respite to seriousness. To be alive is something to be treasured and laughter is good medicine. Both or all of the sexes can be negative or positive. How we reconcile our conscience with what is happening within our world can be a tricky journey.
      We were under siege within our housing complex by one elderly redneck. We finally ignored the hostility and a miracle happened. Not giving oxygen to the protagonist killed it off. It works and so far no more plants have been stolen nor threats of further nastiness.

      Liked by 2 people

      • petspeopleandlife Says:

        Well, Gerard you finally learned the art of how to ignore a hostile situation. It is almost and I stress almost, the best reaction to some one who is acting mean to another It does lend itself to literally throwing water on a flame- that is to ignore a hostile situation.

        That is something that the media here in the states needs to do, stop giving Trump air time. He loves the media actually because he can keep any topic going as long as someone is writing about it.

        Like

  4. Robert Parker Says:

    We’re told to “Be of Good Cheer,” and I keep seeing articles, insisting that even a forced, fake smile, will actually improve your mood , lower stress, erase the cholesterol in hamburgers, boost your stock portfolio, etc. I’ve been trying it, but am just as poor and now all my shirts have catsup stains. I watched that Disney “Christopher Robin” movie recently, and really appreciated Eeyore, at least someone out there still has a proper sense of gloom and pessimism. But I really did get a smile from your essay! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Robert. Nothing is more depressing than being told to cheer up. Happiness is overrated in the west. Happiness is Bali but I fear that might also become corrupted. The KFCs and Big Macs have arrived. I fear the Balinese smile might now start to fade.
      It is a complex matter but I try and keep up the good work here, combining the moral dehydration with the ridiculous.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. shoreacres Says:

    I think this might be the key sentence in your post, Gerard: ” Perhaps cheerfulness is poisoned by news.” I know there are bitchy women and boorish men, and behaviors all around us that are beyond the pale. But none of that plays a role in my life in the real world, partly because of decisions I make about where I spend my time and energy. That helps to keep me very cheerful, indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Linda. Your reply gave me lots to think about. Thank you.

      I seem to be torn between the beauty and the beast. I wish that the beauty would prevail at all times. But in my case, I tend to be drawn at equal proportions to follow my social conscience when it calls or rather screams out for some sort of action. This is why I do slip in some words of protests when I see injustice. I hope it makes a difference. In any case, words of protest drive me. I don’t want a world again where hollow-eyed children end up queueing up for a bucket of potato peeling soup.

      I appreciate our garden. A world of Helvi’s making and each window looks out at beautiful greenery. One reason we have no curtains to block out the loveliness. Just now, even more jonquils and daffodils have popped up and the Manchurian pear is in full bloom. It is cheering me up. We badly need rain.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. auntyuta Says:

    Can you believe it? Look at the picture of this article
    by Tony Wright in the SMH:

    “He is a political nobody, but managed to get a PM and an opposition leader to reach across the divide and shake hands. . . . .
    If Fraser Anning can be said to have achieved anything of worth at all, it is this: in a time when federal politics often inspires loathing, a Prime Minister and an Opposition Leader reached across the divide and shook hands, sealing a greater loathing of the repugnant sentiment that Australia’s racial make-up requires a “final solution”.

    https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/fraser-anning-achieves-what-he-deserves-denunciation-from-the-ages-20180815-p4zxm3.html

    Liked by 3 people

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Good article by Tony Wright, Uta.
      We had the ‘White Australian’ policy till 1974. I remember a kind of colour chart was used to determine the hue or depth of brown in order to approve a migrant entering Australia. We don’t want to go back to that again.
      Did you watch our Border Control minister’s Dutton’s face when the ‘final solution’ was debated. He looked uneasy!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. janesmudgeegarden Says:

    Most of the news is enough to destroy cheerfulness. I often wonder how newsreaders can bear to do their jobs and whether they have to go home afterwards and have several stiff drinks. On SBS, there is sometimes a good news story about something that is being done for the poor, or for refugees, or in fact something good that is being done for others by people who have migrated to this country. These stories provide a bit of cheer that can last a little while.

    What a pretty pass we have come to when a person who got 19 votes is now in our senate and supported outrageously by that fool Bob Katter. I certainly didn’t feel cheerful when I saw other senators queuing up to shake Anning’s hand or give him a hug after his maiden speech. It might be tradition, but it is one that could have been broken with on that occasion, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, I could not believe it that fellow senators and politicians shook Anning’s hand, even gave him a hug. This is why the Trumps and Annings are so dangerous. We are on a razor’s edge when unstable people are gaining power by stealth.
      The tradition of shaking hands after a maiden speech by a new senator is ridiculous. Where does that come from?

      I too wonder how newsreaders cope with their job. Showing footage of those bloodied bodies of children bombed to death in Yemen had us in tears.

      Our PM deserves no praise for condemning Anning. Why did he pump up the Melbourne Sudanese ‘crime’ again when there is no fact to support they commit more crime than the locals. Why does he tolerate Dutton to keep promoting S.African farmers to migrate to Australia because they are white.?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. doesitevenmatter3 Says:

    I believe it! 😀

    Thank you for this post, Gerard! You got across some VERY important points and you did it with honesty and humor! 😀

    I’m an optimist and I’m cheerful almost 100% of the time. But, these days there is so much suffering in the world and the future of the world seems scary and uncertain…so I have shed some tears and have talked about my fears. Some of the changes in the world have concerned me greatly. :-/

    But, then I think…well, I can still positively impact the people in my life…be a helper, an encourage-er, give them something to smile and laugh about, etc. 🙂

    I have always been blessed to have a few good female friends and then the rest of my friends are male. My best friends have always been male. Men are less dramatic, more practical, give good advice, etc. 🙂

    HUGS for you and Helvi!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Carolyn. A spate of good hugging might well give one answer. I can’t see that ever doing harm. The future is scary but with enough people caring the world might well continue to limp along.

      Positivity is contagious, and Helvi’s words of her husband seeming to be less than cheerful of late, gives time for reflection. She is very positive despite of it all!

      I noticed you are giving the male a bit of a boost. Lately men have been shown under a less that flattering light. Not a day goes without a teary woman testifying on the telly how a man has abused them. Sometimes going back decades!

      We used to seek respite and hopeful of a restorative and serene mind in church and God, but even there; no rest for the wicked. A cesspool of decadence and depravity. I now take a big arch around any church.

      Finally sitting on a wooden bench along our local little river with the quacking ducks is the only answer to peace of mind.
      Hugs too.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Life is not always cheerful, and the daily news doesn’t help.
    But keeping one’s ducks in a row and avoiding unpleasant things keeps me happy if not cheerful. Nice to have a cheerful partner too.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, exactly, Kayti.
    It is amazing how ducks give an answer. I used to think it was Proust and Kant, but I was mistaken.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Andrew Says:

    Please don’t encourage cheerfulness Gerard. It’s not natural. I was cheerful once. I think it was a Thursday. It passed quite quickly. Cheer up they said. Things could be worse. So I did and they were.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I remember the Sunday afternoon gloom of the fifties in Australian suburbia, after our arrival, Andrew.

      Boy was it dead. The dogs scratching around the closed strip of shops. No one to be seen on the streets. ‘Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone’ is a line from WH Auden famous poem.

      This is when Australia just died and each Sunday was the same. Thank goodness for foreign migration, real coffee and garlic, I say .

      Now the Sundays give me cheer.

      Liked by 3 people

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