Back to school for the monsters, and wedded bliss



wedding photo of my parents with mum’s brother and sister.

The end of the holidays is for mothers always the best part of a holiday. That is what my mother thought. With six children she was always happy to see us walk back to school. I am sure many mothers today feel the same. Holidays for adults were rare. Dad went to work to earn the food and rent. Mum stayed home, darning socks, washing clothes and cook the food. Millions of tasks. It was normal. All over the world it still is.  Sometimes we were taken for a single day or so. A circus with clowns or a day at the beach is what I remember.

“Have you packed your schoolbag?” “Yes, mum.” This will be echoed around  suburbia this coming Monday morning. I wonder if school lunches are still being made? I suspect many children buy their lunches. In Australia the summer holidays are spread around Christmas. This year it has been hotter than ever and the Nuclear clock has been wound-up to go off in a matter of global minutes. A pessimism is spreading the world which is when I feel most elated. There isn’t a great deal that I can do about Trump or our own coterie of paper mache politicians. I might as well enjoy the ride and make the most of it.

It is just as well that Helvi is the opposite, boundless optimism and full of cheer. Peals of laughter can often be heard. A pretty good match if you can find it. Last Saturday there was the annual Wedding show at the Bradman Cricket Oval. ‘It is huge, a world’s best, that is so true.’ The grounds were taken up by over seventy virginal white marquees with one huge ‘big top tent’ smack in the middle of the oval.  Every now and then the wedding march would boom through loudspeakers. Keen  sparkling eyed girls practising the coming event. Dreaming swirling around, eyes agog, it will be magic, ‘it will be the best, weddings first, love after wilting. It is so true.’

Have a dekko at this lot.

It is too late now, seeing the event is over, but I might set up my own wedding marquees next year on the Bradman Oval. Show them some real cricket! I want to give balance. I would serve cautionary tales and serious advice, perhaps with video footage shot at Family Courts. Close ups of bitter wives and warring husbands , fighting tooth and nail. Sound would include their sobbing’s with white rage. The marquees would have tables groaning with wedding albums torn to shreds. Photographic evidence of chucked wedding videos. Bins full of wedding gowns and other wedding paraphernalia. It would also have copies of lawyer bills running into tens of millions. The flotsam of real weddings would be om show.

I will also present conclusive proof that there is a strong correlation between,  the more money spent on the wedding the shorter the duration of wedded bliss. In fact, consumer affairs have long thought of banning weddings or at least give it star ratings. I am sure that if fridges failed at over forty percent, they would be banned.

I noticed that minced meat is now also given a star rating. I generally go for the three star mince quality but Helvi prefers the more leaner and optimistic four star beef mince. I like a bit of fat. It keeps me on my toes.

I am going to barbeque some potatoes wrapped in foil, char-grill a few red capsicums and make some patties of my minced beef (3 star) with cumin, garlic and some pepper. It is still too hot and I shall wait till about 6pm when the temperature drops to about c20. It will be so good, so great…the best barbeque and that is true.


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20 Responses to “Back to school for the monsters, and wedded bliss”

  1. auntyuta Says:

    Good luck with the dropping of the temperature, Gerard. And enjoy your barbeque. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, Uta. But the temperature at 7.30 pm is still c29. Fans are whirring away in every room. Plenty of water…The barbeque was alright but the mince patties a bit overdone. But so what?

    The news from Trump getting worse. Refugees being banned.

    I fear that those on Manus and Nauru might not now be allowed into the US.

    Will their torture and imprisonment continue for not having drowned?


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      In about 7 minutes time our PM Turnbull will have a phone conversation with Trump about the pre-arranged deal for the US to take on the refugees from Manus and Nauru. With even green card holders from the banned countries not being allowed into the US, I doubt Trump will honour the deal
      We shall see.


  3. shoreacres Says:

    Oh, Gerard. Such a curmudgeon, you are. I hope if you set up your tent at the next wedding extravaganza the girls pelt you with rose petals and force tiny sugar roses on you, while schmaltzy music plays on a loop in the background.

    Actually, I wouldn’t wish that on you, since I don’t advocate such extreme punishment for anyone, and would hate it myself. But it does present an amusing picture.

    I can be slow, sometimes. I’ve finally figured out that your “mince” is what we call ground beef. Interesting, to think of cumin being added. I’ve never done that. Maybe I’ll give it a try.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Linda. That is true. Listening to the music you put a link to, Helvi loved it, and I now fear we might renew our vows once again. Perhaps on a distant shore with crashing waves seated solidly on rocks. It is so good and true.

      Did you notice that Kennard’s Hire is promoting the wedding event here in the Southern Highlands? They are Australia’s largest demolition hire out equipment. Heavy steel balls hanging from chains, bulldozers, Jack hammers and such.

      Weddings are now big business but bigger still are divorces. Their costs easily outstripping the former. That’s why I thought of setting up my tents next year offering soothing words and give hope to those that failed.

      In our own case. It is baffling how all our brothers and sisters of both my own and of Helvi’s family have stayed solidly married. Till death do them part. With our off-spring a different matter. Marital whiplash and carnage everywhere.

      I doubt wisdom or common sense played a role. Love is blind and with those silly wedding shows, young girls being urged to spend thousands on weddings, when money is often needed setting up a home, spending big on weddings is about the worst thing going for future wedded bliss..


  4. rod Says:

    I think your idea is good. I heard that Serena Williams got engaged. Why? If she ends up with guy long term well and good, but what is the point of stating an intention. Don’t say it, do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, they are formidable women and I wish the best for them. They would pack a mighty punch in any marital upheaval.
      Apparently most marital incidents happen to men in the kitchen and for women in the bedroom. There is a lot there, Rod.


  5. petspeopleandlife Says:

    Your mum and dad made an adorable couple. But you are right about divorce. Years ago people made the effort to stay married. Now it is the norm and divorce is no longer a stigma as it once was. Women are able to support themselves (most can) and that of itself is incentive to no longer put up with poor treatment.

    You mince and peppers on the grill sounds very tasty. It is good for Helvi that you like to cook. I never had that in my marriage. My husband could deep fry fish outdoors ands fry bacon and eggs for breakfast and that was the extent of his cooking.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Ivonne. Mum and dad made the best of it and considering they moved all the way across the world with six children to start a new life, this might well have been the bond that kept them united.

      Perhaps people in the past took marriage more serious. Mind you, many might also have led miserable lives. Sticking to some brutal tyrannical man or narcissistic woman looking in mirrors all the time (with eye shadow and rouge caked on the face), is not good either.

      I suppose, love confusion, and all that, is also not much of help for the young. It tends to fizzle out. They go on-line and head straight for the next disaster.A good friendship and liking talking together would be my first choice. Sex can be good but locked together going up and down doesn’t get you to Newcastle or pay the gas bill.

      It is a fascinating subject. At our age, I tend to go for a laugh and may the devil take the hindmost!
      How are things with you?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, its going to be interesting, this ageing business. Just remain healthy as long as possible.
    Glad you are holding on tight. Same here, but at only 76 I hope to grow old gracefully and not get too mouldy.


  7. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    Now I understand why our homemade wedding (including my dress) in my parents garden has lasted so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Hilary. Same here. The wedding dress never even got used. Helvi dyed it red and gave it to her sister. The Lutheran priest in Finland was too indecisive so we married in a registry, rented a cottage in the woods of frozen Finland, and the rest is history.

      There is no golden rule. My paternal grandparents had a grand wedding in the Krasnapolski hotel in Amsterdam. Copious bottles of wine along with a huge table of quests including a future prime minister.

      Now, all is so much business. I mean over seventy tents all pushing their pernicious poisonous marital wares here in Bowral. The poor future brides as good as divorced well before the weddings.

      It’s just not cricket, is it?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Linda gave an intriguing picture of you in a wedding tent. I can see you tasting the refreshment and deciding that you could do a better job of it. Maybe your minced patties? They sound so good I am hungry. It is lunchtime here and it would sure pep me up.
    A lovely picture of your parents. I love the sweet tilt of your mother’s head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, my mother’s tilt is good. Do men tilt? I have to look at wedding pictures. The tilt gives a beguiling innocent look. A kind of ready ‘for you, my darling husband’ and perhaps a good tilt a sign of taking the marriage vows.

      The best tilter of all times was the late Princess Diane of the UK. Her head would go into tilt-aumatic within a hundred metres of any camera.
      As for my wedding tent. I would not tilt but might wear dark glasses and a serious frown. I might get a clipboard with testimonials of divorcees. I might even get a blackboard and some chalk.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Christine Says:

        An American wrote some years ago that Diana’s head-tilt had not fooled him for a moment. Interesting. Perhaps American writer had suffered a bad experience with a seemingly coy woman.
        Amazon! thank you, Gerard. That’s easy.


      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Yes, Christine. But it is only after many years that the ’tilt’ is seen for what it sometimes is. Leaving the toilet seat up brings out a different coyness.

        I am beginning to think that the term ‘I love you’ is also suspect and used too randomly. My humble advice is, run for your life.


      • Christine Says:

        May I have the last word, Gerard?
        Helvi is very lucky; no wonder you hear delightful peals of laughter.


  9. Christine Says:

    Gerard, Kaytisweet has mentioned the tilt of your mother’s head.
    It was the first thing I noticed in the photo.
    I always hated my own photos, because my head would tilt as soon as the camera loomed/zoomed; I couldn’t seem to stop it.

    Now I feel okay about all those photos.

    I must have your books.
    Will investigate best method.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I am sure your photos would look good, Christine.

      I tend to shrink in photos or look away somewhat embarrassed. I don’t have a strong masculine chin. I am proud of my nose though and try make the most of it.

      So pleased you consider my books which are available through Amazon. Both ‘Oosterman Treats’ and ‘Almost there’, available in paperback or downloadable on a kindle device.


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