The problem with old and ageing retirees. They have so much past and much less future. Till some magic pill is discovered that will make us go to two hundred, at the moment the bell tolls for those over seventy. Time is running out. Yet time is also most in supply. There is so much of it. It is no wonder they take to vacuuming and mobility scooters. Their engagements with bowels and Aldi become more important as years go by. It gives us something to talk about.
But, given the latest on the Australian News, Parliamentarians are not any better. While the old might bore us to tears about their toilet plights or daily routines, the Government’s endless drivel about the advantage of five over seven bullet Adler guns is not giving us much relief either. Watching TV News is what drives us more and more to drugs, reading books, scrabble and eating chocolate.
I was surprised when someone knocked on our door. It’s not all that often we get visitors. I opened the door. A girl stood there who kept looking nervously over her shoulder. Was she going to sell me heroin? It turned out there were two of them. She asked if I would look at a magazine. By the look of both of them I was sure it wasn’t a dirty picture book. It turned out to be ‘The Watchtower.’ ‘God is here to save us all’, she started boldly. I smiled friendly and this encouraged her to read something from a biblical St.Paul. I stepped in. I thanked her for the visit and told her I was hard of hearing and strengthened my argument by also telling her that both hearing aids had flat batteries. It was half true. One of the hearing aid was giving me the familiar beep heralding the end of the battery. They left after that unconvincing excuse. My guilt went into automatic.
I have an unfriendly sticker on my door as well: ‘do not knock.’ We used to get so many Foreign Students trying to make us change our Gas and Electricity accounts. We relented a couple of times. Our British neighbours are forever blaming ‘foreigners’ As a general rule, the darker the skin, the more they are suspect. A few weeks ago some plants were stolen. This caused great consternation in our housing compound. Some reckoned it was (dark) Isis, others claimed we stole them ourselves. There is just nothing about some elderly people’s fantasies that eggs them on to the most absurd conclusions. They have all that time. I put up posters stating ‘Thieves About.’ Since then we have installed a CCTV camera and a solar movement device that lights up each time movement is detected outside our front door. I have tried the device out night after night and it works brilliantly. Even after a couple of dark days.
I decided to take one of those Google psychological test to find out if one was still within a range of being normal. The first one came out with a score of 33 which took me to a dangerous level of being psychotic. It urged me to talk to a councillor which had her phone number at the bottom of the test. I was flummoxed. I went downstairs to reflect or relish on the latest gloom. After a disturbing nap, I took a different test. It came out worse. It even had a little red flag. I had apparently mused over the word ‘suicide,’ as a result over a question, ‘have you ever thought about suicide?’ You were to answer; never, sometimes, often or always! I answered ‘sometimes.’ After many question I was urged pronto to immediately seek a good shrink. No guessing their phone numbers were well advertised below. I could understand ‘always’ but just ‘sometimes?’
In any brain are embedded all sorts of possibilities of thoughts. Life, death, birth, young and old, car driving, walking, bungie jumping and…suicide. Not as a desire but food for reflection. I prefer not to restrict my thoughts.
It seems that using a word raises red flags. I would have thought the idea of importing Adler rapid self loading Guns to be far more indicative of the mental state of our Government.
They are the real nuts.