The Roof Cavity Inspector’s job is never finished.

Aspidistra

Aspidistra

Readers might know from a previous article that I have ventured into a new career. With winter half way, the gas bill came in much lower than over the same period last year. I am just re-tracing again! We know that bills always feature strongly in the lives of Seniors. I do keep old bills in my filing cabinet for scrutiny and comparisons. Modern bills also have comparisons printed on the back, often accompanied by graphics showing little towers that go up and down according to the consumption of either gas or electricity. Many do spend time studying those. It helps to pass the day.

Of course, with rates going up, many try and economize to try and lower the bills. Again , as previously mentioned, we installed double glazing and blanketed all our ceilings with insulation. We chose the more expensive one. The specialist installer advised that the more expensive insulation blanket would keep their ‘loft’ for much longer. I like the word ‘loft.’ It probably alludes that the blanket will not collapse on itself like a pre-mature cake mixture not giving enough time to raise.

It was only after I ventured in our roof cavity that I discovered lots of light and heat escaping. Hence, the idea of becoming an inspector of roof cavities took hold. I bought a khaki coloured Yakka bib and brace overall, a sharp pencil and wooden fold-up ruler. The Peugeot had a roof rack installed on which a nifty 16ft aluminium extension ladder could be held with special straps. I had a few caps silkscreened on which ‘Roof Cavity Inspector’ ( RCI) was duly inscribed.

My life has never been better. With coups, rampaging terrorists, and police killings going on everywhere, there is nothing more peaceful than sitting in someone’s roof cavity. It is so serene. One comes to an inner understanding of what the essentials of life are all about. Of course, there are some hick-ups. Last week I inspected a roof cavity for an old lady who lived by herself. She complained of hearing scurrying going on. It turned out to be a busy rats family nest in one corner of the ceiling above her bedroom. I had to call a pest inspector. It made for social contact and we both exchanged the latest gossip about our joint inspectorial duties.

He told me how a manager of a motel at Ballina, NSW, was caught out in a cavity above the honey-moon suite of his motel. A young couple on their first honeymoon complained they heard a noise coming from above the ceiling of their room. ( with en-suite.) When the police arrived, they found the manager and wife very properly attired and in bed. However, when they inspected the noise complaint they found that the cavity above the honey-moon room with en-suite was all planked out, had comfort cushions and a thermos. What did it was that the thermos still had warm coffee and the managers finger prints. There was also a hole drilled next to the electric wiring holding up an ornate light in the room below through which it was assumed the motel manager was observing the frolics of the honey-moon couple down below.

We both shook our heads. I mean, the thermos with coffee? Can you believe it? I bet the manager had to do some explaining.

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16 Responses to “The Roof Cavity Inspector’s job is never finished.”

  1. petspeopleandlife Says:

    Gerard you have returned to work? Really? Well it will pay your utility bills I hope.

    Funny and not so funny about the motel manger watching folks having sex. I guess that’s one way to get your “jollies.” I hope he went to jail. The man is sick in the head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Yvonne. The manager might well have been sick in the head. Perhaps his marriage was a bit stale, or perhaps he lost his ‘loft’ in the conjugal department. I am loath to criticise. There are so many variations on what is normal and not so normal… so many lost souls.
      A few months ago a minister was observed to sniff a woman’s seat that she had just left. He was ridiculed and exposed on TV, but as far as I know he is still working in parliament in the Roads and Traffic portfolio…
      Heaven knows what his wife went through.

      Liked by 1 person

      • petspeopleandlife Says:

        Ph my goodness. Sniffing where a woman hads been seating is too much. And he’s still working. Moral standards have reached an all time low in many cases and people keep their jobs>I don’t understand. Poor wife of the deviant husband.

        Liked by 1 person

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Yes, Ivonne. The woman’s seat sniffing affaire was all a bit sad. It happened in West Australia.

        I quote; “West Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell has broken down at a press conference and admitted he sniffed the chair of a female Liberal Party staffer.

        Speaking to journalists at a press conference at Mandurah, south of Perth, Mr Buswell confirmed details of the woman’s account of a 2005 incident, reported in The West Australian newspaper today.

        He said he was not standing down as Liberal leader.

        The woman, who does not want to be named, said Mr Buswell started sniffing the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005.” End of quote.

        The politician admitted being depressed and felt contrite.

        The photo in the newspaper showed a man who looked as normal as anyone. Not a hint of deviant or sniffing tendencies. A man who could very easily, after leaving church on a Sunday morning, be seen shaking hands with the Reverend.

        Like

  2. Yvonne Says:

    You never know when someone is spying on you from a random cavity!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Curt Mekemson Says:

    So Gerard, you have become an official Attic inspector. My son Tony has just bought a new house in Connecticut. His first task, removing all of the old insulation and the mice that live therein. Sounds a bit like your rats. As for the peeping Tom, you’d have to be careful in this country. Someone might start shooting holes in the ceiling. Seat sniffing— what can I say… –Curt

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      In Canberra and elsewhere many house ceilings were insulated by a fluffy sort of material that used to get pumped into roof cavities. It turned out, the insulation contained asbestos fibres. The contractor called himself Mr Fluffy. All the houses now are going to be demolished. There seems no other way out. The affected houses are being bought up by the Government costing 250 million dollars
      http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-29/mr-fluffy-asbestos-nsw-home-buyback-scheme/6579282

      First a Mr Fluffy, then a politician sniffing seats. What is the world coming to? Truth is stranger than fiction.

      Like

      • Curt Mekemson Says:

        Not that I am a fan of sniffing seats, Gerard, but Fluffy’s pumping asbestos seems much more harmful… and expensive! –Curt
        BTW, stay out of the asbestos.

        Liked by 1 person

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        The biggest asbestos problem yet to be faced is that hundreds of thousands of homes that were originally sheeted by asbestos cement are still being lived in.
        Most have been sheeted over with aluminium sheeting or weather-board. (remember the ‘Tin Man’?
        Our house after our arrival in Australia was built by asbestos sheeting. House ownership is a religion in Australia. It was made as affordable as possible, hence the asbestos sheets. In Europe too they were used but mainly for animal sheds, chicken coops or cows.
        The seat sniffer addicts go into re-hab. and take the twelve steps.

        Like

  4. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Congratulations on your new career Gerard. Since heat rises, you can always be sure of a warm spot in the roof. That and a thermos of something warm or or possibly stronger could make for a pleasant morning. Don’t linger too long with the stronger cuppa though, you want to come down safely.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Thank you. Kayti.
      In between authoring books and trying to publish them, there is nothing better than being perched up inside a roof cavity, contemplating the beauty of life.
      Between the rafters and ceiling joists there is life like nowhere else. I know, some overlook verdant valleys or the contemplation of snow-laden mountains, but give me the silent space of the cavity. A wondrous twilight world like nowhere else.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Yes indeed there is left up there! Sometimes entire families ponder the existence of their life. They have learned to conduct a merry life cycle alone and unmolested (until you arrived!) Check their cabinets for snail shells—they LOVE escargot!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. gerard oosterman Says:

    We had families of rats whooping it up on the farm. We taught them a lesson with rat- sack. Not so nice but they chew through electricity cables and even our water pipes.
    Later on I discovered they died in our gutters as they looked for water. When it rained the water would flow through the gutters and into our water tanks.
    Amazingly, we never got sick. A bit gruesome though.
    We now have town water. Very nice, and dead rat free.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. nonsmokingladybug Says:

    Gerard, I always delete your anti-America comments on my blog, also I unfollowed your blog a while ago (just in case you haven’t noticed.

    I would appreciate if you would return the favor. Not because of your critic but because of your one-sided negativity toward a country that you don’t even know.

    Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I always enjoy your blog and will continue to do so. You are free to do whatever you feel like. To delete comments, either anti or pro America is your choice entirely. I will never delete reasonable comments by others on my blog. I don’t believe in censoring free speech. However, each to their own.

      You seemed to have deleted this post in what I responded to.
      ;”sailajaP14 liked your comment on Share your world – Week #29.”

      “The perfect pizza is indeed to be found in Napoli. I lived of pizza in Naples for weeks waiting for…”

      Like

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