With the world reeling from disasters, one could be forgiven for keeping the TV’s switched off. After the recent flooding, he was seen to hurry to Bunnings to buy wooden beams, some tubes of strong adhesives and bitumen paint. Bunnings of course, is a large hardware chain which sell dreams for the handy-man and home DIY…(Do-It-Yourself). They are huge. In a clever move to involve both men, and women, Bunnings introduced classes in general homecare, such as minor carpentry, basic plumbing, clearing drains, and tool handling for women. Last year the classes were combined with line dancing. It included face painting for the kids, and on Saturday they have Lions Club volunteers raising funds by selling Barbequed sausages, and onions on sliced white bread, with a variety of sauces. The kids and husbands love it. Bunnings is to hardware what Aldi is to food.
He had felt it his duty to try and prevent future water inundation, even without wearing pyjamas. After measuring the distance of the required levy he lowered the back-seat down in the car. He only recently discovered this possibility. It doubled the capacity to carry wooden beams to almost twice the lengths. He finally also read in the car manual that the reason his car did not carry a spare wheel in the back, was that one could drive with flat tyres. He had given up reading the car manual. He kept falling asleep. Instead read yet another Mankell thriller. Apart from some Ruth Rendell books, he never was much into crime books…
His recent book marketing and selling of his own book had come to a bit of a hiatus, and the recent threat of minor flooding was just the ticket to lift him out of his beloved tendency to nurture gloomy feelings. Something that he tended to do anyway without any outside encouragement. He had often told himself that his efforts to publish his memoirs was for the family to deal with in case he went missing in action, or had carked it. Not an unreasonable assumption, seeing he was nudging seventy six years in total so far. He was previously given to pondering he would like to leave something a bit more substantial than just his faded Municipal Rate notices or his record of Dutch and Australian pension entitlements.
He found himself humming ‘when the Saints come marching in’ while driving home with the necessary wooden beams poking against the back of the front seat. A box of liquid nails adhesive was secure on the passengers seat. He was going to glue the beams outside near his garage door to form a barrier, and prevent future flooding. He had written a stern note to the Strata Body Corporate but the courtesy of an acknowledgement was yet to be given. He did not really want to rely on the blocked stormwater drain to be fixed. Even so, he did notice a remote camera for sale at Aldi’s with the necessary cables and manual. The camera would come in handy to send it into hard to reach areas to investigate any problems. It is amazing how technology outpaces the elderly now. No doubt the camera could be sent into the drain and transmit in detail any blockage. Something to ponder about for the future.
After arriving home and unpacking the beams he got stuck into the job at hand.
His wife noticed he was very cheerful.
Tags: Aldi, Almost There, Australian, Dutch, Flooding, Mankell, Pension, Ruth Rendell
June 14, 2016 at 1:26 am |
I hope his labors bear good results, with no future need for him to venture into a dark and stormy night in his pyjamas. He is obviously a man of action.
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June 14, 2016 at 10:16 pm |
So do I, Yvonne. He has been seen carrying logs around while talking to some ducks and Milo. There are rumours a second book might be forthcoming.
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June 14, 2016 at 10:28 pm
He is a go-getter, isn’t he!
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June 14, 2016 at 4:42 am |
There are plumbers here abouts who have robots with cameras that go into drains, and clear them, or reline them. They can carry a collapsed plastic liner into the drain, then spray it with catalyst and inflate it so it forms a new liner. The robot remembers where the side branches are and created new side branches within the lining.
My father was to have something like that done to his aorta, but declined, as the risk of death during the procedure is higher than his risk from an aortic aneurysm.
Good to see you are still smacking the Body Corporate into shape, Gerard.
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June 14, 2016 at 10:22 pm |
That’s amazing. No one has looked at my aorta lately. I just hope that the enzymes in the Shiraz is doing its job. I don’t hold out much hope our Body Corporate will respond. The kitty is empty.
The painting has been done now.
Yes, technology is amazing. I drive a car at the moment that you can drive on all tyres being flat. I always thought that all that air was pretty useless.
Lot of fried air coming through the box lately. Have you noticed, Big M?
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June 14, 2016 at 10:49 pm
Fried air, yes, you may have noticed my absence from the Drum, lately, I just can’t muster the interest in buffoons and snake oil salesmen.
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June 14, 2016 at 5:23 am |
Aah Gerard. What a good story. So you high-tailed it to Bunnings or what ever its name and decided to be your own repairman or something to the effect. I like how you wrote this post. Initially it did not seem to be you but then I am dense and It takes me a wee bit longer to catch the drift.
Over here, we have Lowe’s and Home Depot sans the dancing and other entertainment.
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June 14, 2016 at 10:26 pm |
Hi Ivonne, was never much good at line dancing, more of a Samba man. We used to have Lowe’s shop here, owned by the Lowe family. I think they went broke. I used to get a $ 2,- haircut there, many years ago. I now pay $30.- for less hair being cut.
Stay well.
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June 14, 2016 at 8:27 am |
We often feel more cheerful wheh we feel we are achieving things,
and you defintely are.
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June 14, 2016 at 10:31 pm |
Thanks Rod, Keeping busy is the thing to remember. My H knows that, but sometimes one gets drawn to rflect while sitting in a comfy chair, and that can lead to sombreness.( But not too often)
We are having a glorious winter, and for the third night in a row, are having morning frosts. The rooves opposite are all white. By 9am it is already 10C with an ultra-marine blue sky.
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June 16, 2016 at 1:28 pm |
He went to Bunnings and only bought the things he went to buy? I don’t think he fully understands what “just going to Bunnings” is supposed to entail. You must always be gone three times as long as you said you would be gone and then you must come back having purchased items completely unrelated to your original intended purchase. If you can also return having not even bought what you actually went to buy, you are a Bunnings Master.
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June 16, 2016 at 10:30 pm |
Yes, you have something there MoSY.
Going to Bunnings or any of those large meccas for consumerism has become part of what is euphemistically called ‘having a life style’
None of us want to be seen as not knowing about the delights of Bunnings and its endless supply of cement or guttering…
We are so alive!
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June 16, 2016 at 6:42 pm |
He did well!
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June 16, 2016 at 10:32 pm |
Mr Oosterman came home with timber beams and tubes of ‘liquid nails.’ His wife was so proud, waiting for him at the gate. She wore an apron. The house smelt of chicken soup. Milo was curled up near the hearth.
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June 17, 2016 at 2:24 am |
I laughed at your trip to Bunnings — but only because it’s so familiar. We have a couple of old-time hardware stores in the neighborhood that I much prefer to the big chain stores. For one thing, if you need one bronze screw, you can buy just one at the mom-and-pop place. The big stores put them in packages of 12 or 20, and charge accordingly. Also, the clerks at the local stores know their business. They may actually have wielded a hammer in their time, or used a level. At Home Depot, if you ask a question, you’re sent off to Aisle 24, and by the time you figure out you’re in the wrong place, the person who gave you that advice in on lunch break.
I laughed and laughed at your mention that Bunnings offers “tool handling for women.” What in the world do they think is different for women, when it comes to orbital sanders or band saws? I remember when home toolkits for women were all the rage here (pink handles, floral cases, and such) but that was thirty years ago. O tempora! O mores!
By the way, my sympathy for your MS Word struggles has increased exponentially. I tried using the program for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and couldn’t figure out how to single space a paragraph. On the other hand, I did find the vaunted word replacement. If I ever get something written, at least I can replace words.
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June 17, 2016 at 12:10 pm |
I tend to call it Bunnings Craft Store, because one can buy all sorts of equipment for decoupage, feature walls, garden ornaments, cushions, etc. The serious hardware places are now consortiums of on line wholesalers who are a third cheaper, faster, and deliver to your door cheaper than Bunnies. There are no old fashioned hardware stores anymore, all run into the ground by greedy bunnings.
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June 18, 2016 at 6:08 am
Yes, you are right, Mark. Change is so rapid now. Things pass me by. Yes, the trade people would probably have their way of escaping Bunnings.
Bunnings is huge here in Mittagong and my twin nephews who screw on roofs for a living, take an iPhone shot of the item they want to order and than show the photo with bar-code to the cash-register. They then walk back to the item (500 metres away) and pick it up and show the docket to the exit scanner.
It’s all way beyond me now, Big M.
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June 18, 2016 at 6:03 am |
Yes, Linda. It is true that in those very large hanger like hardware emporiums it has become so impersonal. I am surprised they haven’t installed custom people with body scanners. I saw a woman come out with a huge bolt cutter. She wore a white T-shirt with ‘I’ll do you next.’ written on it.
I hope I’ll be better able to handle MS Word in my next book. At least, it is still the same and hasn’t changed despite those nightly up-dates that I still keep getting. The computer switches on without any warning and it bathes the whole room in a lurid blue light. It is just getting another up-date.
The old time hardware shop has gone. You now need tools to open tools. Everything is now so hard to open, people just perish while trying to undo the hard plastic covering. Our local Bunnings has a children’s playground just like MacDonald’s. Kids will soon beg mum to take them to Bunnings as well as the Big Golden arched hamburgers. All those updates.
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