The conversion to ePub plus MOBI.

‘Tantalising close,’ would be an understatement. ‘What price would you like to sell your eBook for, Gerard?’ Can you believe it? Yet, this was the question put yesterday while filling in a form to convert the book ‘Almost There,’ to a format called ePub plus MOBI all done by the Australia Society for Authors. It hit like a bolt from the sky. But that wasn’t all. Try and understand how it felt when reading on the same form; ‘Please provide details of the bank account into which your sales revenue should be paid.’ Your name of account, the BSB number and account number. ‘Your sales revenue?’ Joy, oh joy!

I could hardly believe it and neither did Milo. Out of the goodness of my heart, I gave him not one but two raw chicken necks. He looked perplexed but did not muck about, burying one neck for later consumption. He is prudent when it comes to his food larder. Only yesterday, while digging at the front garden I uncovered one of his beloved pig’s ears. He was watching me. I left it near where I found it and after leaving the garden I observed him re-burying it again. I suppose, it had not quite reached the level of dead carcass decay that Milo likes when consuming a pig’s ear. It explains where that broodingly dark smell comes from when Milo is sitting between us on the console of our car just inches away from our own faces.

We are al prepared and ready for the onslaught. The grandkids are coming over. The school holidays are on again. We have stocked up on half a litre of cod-liver oil and promised if they behave they will get a nice treat. Last time, just a few weeks ago at Easter, they managed to use up our monthly allocated Telstra data in just two days. We only ever use up about 1/10th of our monthly data. Just imagine how quick kids can rack up bills for their parents? In our days we would be lucky to get a spoonful of cod-liver oil for our birthdays. Or, when times were really good, get a pair of hand-knitted grey coloured socks. By the way, cod liver oil as sold in the past in liquid form is now mainly dispensed in very silly and expensive little gelatine sugar coated capsules. However, Price-Wise chemists still sells this wonderful golden nectar in its full liquid form. So, rip into it while it still lasts.

The latest controversy about the effects on health by eating sugar might well bring the liver oil back into vogue. I can see people crossing the street, slurping it up. Cafés will be selling it as ‘liver oil latte.’ And liver pizzas. The return of slim people

Anyway, the book is ‘Almost There.’

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33 Responses to “The conversion to ePub plus MOBI.”

  1. Dorothy brett Says:

    I just love your “turn of phrase” Gerard.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Big M Says:

    I’m so pleased for you, Gerard. Yes, when you can say. “Show me the money.” You are really there. As for your job title, I’ve always thought of you as Gerard Oosterman writer and author. I mean, you make a colonoscopy, or a walk to the duck pond exciting!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Carrie Rubin Says:

    I’m impressed you’re doing all that ebook stuff yourself. Good on you. Have fun with the grandkids! But please, don’t torture them with liver oil.😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      They would probably kick me in the groin rather than take the cod liver oil, Carrie. It reminds me when the kids were young. I told them; if you are really nice and well behaved you will be allowed to go to bed early tonight. They looked a bit puzzled at first.😉
      The eBook and MOBI conversion is done by the Australia Society for Author and I pay them for doing that. It is a small fee ($152.10) and includes the 29 b/w photos with 7 coloured ones.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Carrie Rubin Says:

        Ha, the old play on words. It’s like when I was a med student long ago. They told us (jokingly) if someone asked if we’d ever done a particular procedure before, we were to very quickly say, “Why, yes, I’ve done well under a hundred of these!”

        Liked by 4 people

  4. shoreacres Says:

    Cod liver oil? You’re making that sound pleasant. We grew up knowing it as a punishment, and honestly, I only heard about it from other kids. I never suffered it myself. To be honest, I didn’t realize it still was around. I thought it had gone the way of Carter’s pills and Lydia Pinkham’s — old patent medicines.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. gerard oosterman Says:

    Oh, Linda. All medications, especially alternatives and herbal medications are hugely popular. The super market shelves are full of them. The cod liver oil is still popular amongst many. They now have krill oil, even calamari extract oil. All very expensive. I don’t know how they get oil out of a calamari. Do they squeeze them?
    Blackmore is the most common brand.
    Shares in that company have leaped to astronomical heights. They are at the moment $176.- per share. A year ago they were $40.-
    Sorry for this materialistic incursion to your response, but it makes clear how keen people are on medications, especially from China.

    Like

  6. lifecameos Says:

    It is moving on, even if at a snail’s pace. Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    I’m sad to report that my children were compelled to have plain old cold liver oil with orange juice each morning. It’s a wonder they will drink orange juice today, and they had just as many colds as the kids who didn’t take it.

    Like

  8. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Thrilled to bits for you! This really is wonderful news. Make mine a double liver oil and tonic😉 Let’s celebrate!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. petspeopleandlife Says:

    That’s great news Gerard. Getting that book published was somewhat of a massive undertaking.

    Now about those pig’s ears. Of course you know that dog’s like their treats very rank and foul. 🙂 All the better to roll in some of what they have buried in order to open up the sinus cavities of their owner.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. chris hunter Says:

    Dog’s bury food to ‘cook’ it, according to the experts. Strangely our old dog buried cooked bones – he liked them extra well done I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Patti Küche Says:

    I thought for a moment your local pub was going online in a special way. Enjoy the grandchildren or am I so far behind that they are now back at school and about to graduate?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Forestwoodfolkart Says:

    Either I was ahead of my time or I spoilt my kids rotten! They had daily doses of the Hypol and loved it until they got to high school and found out it wasn’t cool to enjoy cod liver oil for breakfast….Bring on the Cod Liver Lattes, I say. Make it cool again!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. elizabeth2560 Says:

    With all the research these days now pointing to fish oil being such a wonder, our grandmother’s had it right about the cod liver oil … only to be outdone by shoving castor oil down our throats the day AFTER family parties. Urrh!

    The book preparation must have been exciting and I am now glad for you to be on the ‘published’ side of things. Hooray for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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