It struck like a bolt of light from the sky. It happened at 6.45am as I was putting on my socks. This is usually my first duty. I can’t make a good coffee without wearing socks and slippers. Helvi loves walking around bare-footed. I often rebuke her for checking the latest happenings in the garden during frosty mornings. It makes me ill looking at those bare feet crunching around the crystalline hoar-frosted cyclamens or violets. I insists she gets socks on before any coffee! I suspects it behoves her seeing me all puckered, concerned and anxious.
Here now is clear-sighted bolt from the heavens. Why don’t I take on the job of chairman in our Strata Plan? The present chairperson is an 82 year old lady who is not familiar with e-mail and computers. So far she has done an admirable job but is under pressure from the rest of the executive to agree to the painting of this compound. They are just trying to wear her out, pushing to agree verbally to all sorts of schemes of intrigue and conniving. It is the last thing a retired person on her own would want to be part off.
She visited us last night and is obviously all stressed out. The investigation into how things have been managed by our inept Body Corporate manager is scaring her. We have tried to calm her. It is no-one’s fault but the Corporate Manager who failed to have given an accurate report of the last AGM. Not a word or motion reflecting even the idea of having spoken about any painting. Someone is cooking the reports and to think we are paying real money for that!
I will suggest to her, to relinquish her chairperson job and nominate me to fill the job till the next AGM when new nominations for positions might be called for. I would be an excellent replacement. Drunk with power I will get a cane and keep tapping it assertively in front of the other town-house owners. Up and down I will be tapping. Any illegal disappearance of greenery will immediately be followed by lining up all owners in front of the letter-boxes and give them a severe dressing down before marching them back to their dwellings.
All camellias with their rotting flowers will be dug up and banished forever. Native sedges and Hebes will become obligatory. All windows must be uncovered during day but blinds and curtains will be allowed back in over the windows between 7pm and 6.30 am. Solar panels will become obligatory but paid for by Strata-plan, after enough money has been raised and collected in the quarterly fees. All residents will be encouraged to dance outside their front door whenever more shocking news will be revealed about our bumbling Tony Abbott’s Government. ( if that’s what they call it).
A special prawn barbeque will be put on when the polls on the Liberal National Party go down even further. Volunteers might be called for to put prawn shells behind hubcaps of cars known to belong to foolish LNP followers. A creative composing of tone-poems will be asked for, reflecting our concern for the world’s ecology and climate change. In the meantime Sibelius’ Valse Triste will be played through the Shire’s town’s vans with loudspeakers.
That will be all for now.