If you thought the road to getting old is easy and paved with gold, think again. Some time ago I wrote an article about getting old and even praised some of the benefits often overlooked in magazines for the ‘senior.’
https://oosterman.wordpress.com/erectile-dysfunctional-benefits/
Many of the senior magazines seem to feel it their duty in pointing out, ad boring infinitum, that old age needs not result in a soft age and that a slackening off on a firm ‘useful’ erection need not be a foregone conclusion. As if!
Ever since I wrote this article I have been getting spam e-mails exhorting me to take tablets for the correction of any possibility of erectile wilting. ( how would they know?) This is while women line up trying to make the best of things with face peels or wrinkle free necks. Men’s only thought is to their holy dick (penis). Why is it assumed that all an ageing man ever wants is to be ‘rock-hard?’
I have lifted my security from medium to strong on my computer but as I get up each morning, (soft as eider-down) and make my weary way to the computer, I have this melancholic task of deleting those endless posts that vary from; ‘she will scream for more’, to ‘you will last like a teenager again’, for ‘swell with size and confidence, to the grand finale of ‘get rock hard’. All they want is to sell pills.
Is that what it is all about? Is that what has driven me? How sad a comment on men. What a dreadful plight, blight and burden on men. Just when I have arrived at an age to contemplate going to a travel night with video-slides of ‘trip down the Danube’, I still keep getting those spams. I am actually in the market for ‘reduction pills’ or ‘moving gaze above navel’ potions, see the ‘true opposite sex’ tablets with ‘and how to ‘engage in nice conversation with women’ unguents.
Surely, we deserve to be left alone and calmly allowed to age, enjoy a stroll around the park, sit on a bench, observe the glint in crow’s eye, the black raven’s cry and quack of ducks. Give men a break. Some deserve it.
“Could it be that advancing age is blessed with well hidden benefits of not having to be driven by those ridiculous up and downs, up and downs again? It is not as if, afterwards, one ends up in Kalgoorlie, back of the black stump or Vienna. No, we are still is in the same spot and our partner will soon be snoring, a bit tired and the ‘Rock hard’ Viagra now is calling for a revenge but will settle for a solid bout of thirty six hours of indigestion.”
March 6, 2015 at 1:23 am |
Is this post raising the red flag to the bull? Looks like you’ll get another bout of sales people eager to help. It’s lovely to be in the age group where those things don’t matter any more. ๐
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March 6, 2015 at 3:01 am |
Gee, I hope not. Last time I was with a different esp, this time fortunately they end up as spams.
The whole world is out there trying to make a buck by making everything a ‘dysfunction’. Being normal is now totally dysfunctional and needs a pill if not a long stint on the psychiatrist’s couch as well.
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March 6, 2015 at 2:13 am |
You’re such a stirrer, Gerard ! – you take the greatest delight in posting about ‘sacrosanct’ topics that many steer well clear of. ๐
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March 6, 2015 at 3:04 am |
I am thinking of starting an erectile dysfunctional political party with own letterheads and matching envelopes. Our aim; a society based on raising taxes instead of erections.
I reckon it will be a winner. All I need is a strong and upright secretary.
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March 6, 2015 at 3:43 am
Hafta be another bloke, then … ๐
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March 6, 2015 at 8:13 am |
You be careful! A previous husband of mine once decided to take viagra ‘for fun’. Not only was he ‘rock hard’ for hours but his entire body went a deep shade of crimson red. This unsightly colouring totally put him off his stride and he was unable to perform. You could say that got me ‘off the hook’ ๐
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March 6, 2015 at 9:12 am |
Oh, I am so careful of that stuff I hardly even try an oyster in case of priapism. I have enough on my plate. Did your ex husband use leeches for relief? ๐
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March 6, 2015 at 6:00 pm |
Is this a case of “watch what you ask for”? ๐ โCurt
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March 6, 2015 at 9:07 pm |
This morning’s one was ‘gain inches overnight’ just buy this tablet.
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March 6, 2015 at 8:59 pm |
I get the same Viagra spam – I think people may be confused about my sex due to my first name.
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March 6, 2015 at 9:05 pm |
Perhaps I should change my name to Geraldine. Mind you those ads now all appear in my spam box. One flick and they are gone.
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March 6, 2015 at 9:12 pm
I suspect women get breast enlargement ads.
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March 6, 2015 at 9:23 pm
With the explosion of world’s population, both in numbers and size, one would expect pills to reduce things rather than enlarge.
Penile/breast reduction pills etc.
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March 7, 2015 at 12:02 am |
‘you will last like a teenager againโ that one made me laugh. Don’t they go off in less than 30 seconds. Whilst I’m younger than you Gerard, my GP told me once that 50% of males at 50 have problems getting it up and maintaining it.
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March 8, 2015 at 10:09 pm |
Yes, it is all so passe. It is not a problem, more of a benefit or bonus really.
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March 7, 2015 at 6:00 pm |
Now I’m wondering what I said to get all those phishing emails from extremely available young women?!? Shome mistake here.
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March 8, 2015 at 10:07 pm |
Me too. From Latvia?
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March 8, 2015 at 6:49 pm |
Give men a break? In those magazines women are always lying prone on the floor with their medi-alerts, or sitting in their new shower stall in a one piece bathing suit before sliding up and down the stairs on the new chairlift. Sorry about your spasms Gerard and thank you as ever for the entertainment!
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March 8, 2015 at 10:04 pm |
Any time Patti. Gee, the chairlift is a good one.
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March 9, 2015 at 4:25 am |
Yes, it’s curious how ‘they’ can now peruse your emails, downloads (metadata), when obviously our every move has been under surveillance all along. I once looked up prostate awareness, being at that age when such ailments catch up, and I too was bombarded with “rock hard”, an erection that lasts for hours – how could you walk the dog without attracting attention, or someone calling the police is beyond me? I have heard of individuals who have been unable to retract after taking the advertised pills, and going to the doctor with the offending weapon, begging for tumescence.
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March 9, 2015 at 10:40 am |
Gez, I used to get emails about a cream that I could rub on my member to get rock hard erections. I replied to them that any cream rubbed on said member seemed to have an effect.
No reply
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