Get ‘Rock-hard’

Our kitchen of 'give and take'

Our kitchen of ‘give and take’

If you thought the road to getting old is easy and paved with gold, think again. Some time ago I wrote an article about getting old and even praised some of the benefits often overlooked in magazines for the ‘senior.’

Many of the senior magazines seem to feel it their duty in pointing out, ad boring infinitum, that old age needs not result in a soft age and that a slackening off on a firm ‘useful’ erection need not be a foregone conclusion. As if!

Ever since I wrote this article I have been getting spam e-mails exhorting me to take tablets for the correction of any possibility of erectile wilting. ( how would they know?) This is while women line up trying to make the best of things with face peels or wrinkle free necks. Men’s only thought is to their holy dick (penis). Why is it assumed that all an ageing man ever wants is to be ‘rock-hard?’

I have lifted my security from medium to strong on my computer but as I get up each morning, (soft as eider-down) and make my weary way to the computer, I have this melancholic task of deleting those endless posts that vary from; ‘she will scream for more’, to ‘you will last like a teenager again’, for ‘swell with size and confidence, to the grand finale of ‘get rock hard’. All they want is to sell pills.

Is that what it is all about? Is that what has driven me? How sad a comment on men. What a dreadful plight, blight and burden on men. Just when I have arrived at an age to contemplate going to a travel night with video-slides of ‘trip down the Danube’, I still keep getting those spams. I am actually in the market for ‘reduction pills’ or ‘moving gaze above navel’ potions, see the ‘true opposite sex’ tablets with ‘and how to ‘engage in nice conversation with women’ unguents.

Surely, we deserve to be left alone and calmly allowed to age, enjoy a stroll around the park, sit on a bench, observe the glint in crow’s eye, the black raven’s cry and quack of ducks. Give men a break. Some deserve it.

“Could it be that advancing age is blessed with well hidden benefits of not having to be driven by those ridiculous up and downs, up and downs again? It is not as if, afterwards, one ends up in Kalgoorlie, back of the black stump or Vienna. No, we are still is in the same spot and our partner will soon be snoring, a bit tired and the ‘Rock hard’ Viagra now is calling for a revenge but will settle for a solid bout of thirty six hours of indigestion.”

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21 Responses to “Get ‘Rock-hard’”

  1. bkpyett Says:

    Is this post raising the red flag to the bull? Looks like you’ll get another bout of sales people eager to help. It’s lovely to be in the age group where those things don’t matter any more. ๐Ÿ™‚


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Gee, I hope not. Last time I was with a different esp, this time fortunately they end up as spams.
      The whole world is out there trying to make a buck by making everything a ‘dysfunction’. Being normal is now totally dysfunctional and needs a pill if not a long stint on the psychiatrist’s couch as well.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. M-R Says:

    You’re such a stirrer, Gerard ! – you take the greatest delight in posting about ‘sacrosanct’ topics that many steer well clear of. ๐Ÿ˜€


  3. Lottie Nevin Says:

    You be careful! A previous husband of mine once decided to take viagra ‘for fun’. Not only was he ‘rock hard’ for hours but his entire body went a deep shade of crimson red. This unsightly colouring totally put him off his stride and he was unable to perform. You could say that got me ‘off the hook’ ๐Ÿ˜‰


  4. Curt Mekemson Says:

    Is this a case of “watch what you ask for”? ๐Ÿ™‚ โ€“Curt


  5. stuartbramhall Says:

    I get the same Viagra spam – I think people may be confused about my sex due to my first name.


  6. algernon1 Says:

    ‘you will last like a teenager againโ€™ that one made me laugh. Don’t they go off in less than 30 seconds. Whilst I’m younger than you Gerard, my GP told me once that 50% of males at 50 have problems getting it up and maintaining it.


  7. Says:

    Now I’m wondering what I said to get all those phishing emails from extremely available young women?!? Shome mistake here.


  8. Patti Kuche Says:

    Give men a break? In those magazines women are always lying prone on the floor with their medi-alerts, or sitting in their new shower stall in a one piece bathing suit before sliding up and down the stairs on the new chairlift. Sorry about your spasms Gerard and thank you as ever for the entertainment!


  9. Lorena and Chris Hunter Says:

    Yes, it’s curious how ‘they’ can now peruse your emails, downloads (metadata), when obviously our every move has been under surveillance all along. I once looked up prostate awareness, being at that age when such ailments catch up, and I too was bombarded with “rock hard”, an erection that lasts for hours – how could you walk the dog without attracting attention, or someone calling the police is beyond me? I have heard of individuals who have been unable to retract after taking the advertised pills, and going to the doctor with the offending weapon, begging for tumescence.


  10. Big M Says:

    Gez, I used to get emails about a cream that I could rub on my member to get rock hard erections. I replied to them that any cream rubbed on said member seemed to have an effect.

    No reply


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