Discipline and Fish & Chips

Milo after many pats

Milo after many pats

We are still getting over it. It happened last week-end during the May day celebrations. Why this is held in October here in NSW, Australia, might be better explained by those better versed in Anglo Saxon anomalies than I. I remember years ago wondering why a penny was denoted by the letter ‘d’ and not by a ‘p’. Even worse, we have yearly Edinburgh ‘tattoo’ on TV. Why ‘tattoo’, when it could be called festival, musical, or even carnival? May day in October probably adheres to similar laws of incomprehensible logic, so esoteric, that only fools would question them.😉

Anyway, we decided to go to the coast and have Fish & Chips together with our incorrigible JR Terrier ‘Milo’. It would be nice to let him smell the seagulls and salty ocean spray. You know the image, a beige man throwing bits of drift wood into the ocean and a dog wildly braving the waves retrieving the stick while the wife stands back, takes pleasure in viewing both husband and dog. Domestic symbiotic bliss on a long week-end.

After both husband and dog had expired enough energy, it was decided to look for a suitable cafeteria with chairs and shade umbrellas. We soon found one along the strip of shops that are so identifiable with almost all developments in Australia. The road goes through most shopping strips and as the towns developed so would the suburbs neatly arrange themselves around the shops and business premises. The place we visited was Kiama. After having ordered the Fish & Chips we sat down and so did Milo. Now Milo is a dog that behaves perfectly. He does his ‘business’ well away from were people walk. Amazing, because we never trained him. He will settle down underneath bushes or in leaf mulch under a large tree. Afterwards he even buries it and looks at me for ‘you’re a good boy, Milo’ statement.

The one departure from his well behaved deportment is his hatred for motor-bikes. He has a thing about motor-bikes and their riders. Show him a motor bike in situ, he is an angel. It is only when rider and bike are combined in noise and a forward motion that he goes berserk. We have tried to reason with him. Tried rewarding him, punishing, smacking with newspapers, withholding his chicken-neck dinner. All the usual pedagogic tricks of parenting and upbringing. Nothing works. In Bowral where we live, it is just the occasional motor bike. No worries. People look up a bit and smile. He is just a rascal, they seem to imply. In any case we try and avoid roads and motor bikes, walk along a flowing little river. He barks a bit at ducks, but who wouldn’t?

Kiama seems to be occupied during May-Day (in October) with motor bike riders. Lots of them. Many bull-necked heavily tattooed riders and equally tattooed bull-breasted girlfriends akimbo on Harleys, Triumphs, and Hondas. Fat wheels everywhere, roaring, spitting fire. Milo went mad. I am personally very fond of motor bikes and often reflect on my own motor bike days, I had an ex-police Triumph with sidecar. I was never bull-necked. No-one was in those days. Nor did I tattoo myself. No serpents around my biceps or lecherous, leering ladies on my chest.

Creek

Creek

Needless to say, the Fish & Chips underneath the umbrella was ruined. As mentioned, Kiama was full of motor bikes and riders. There must be a club somewhere. There would be a motor-bike every five seconds. Milo hurtling himself forward dragging tables and chairs with him. A few Japanese tourist girls escaped the fury, left the café looking back and down to Milo who was besides himself, foaming at the mouth. We were tempted to let him go and then pretend he belonged to someone else. Instead we dragged him back to the car and drove home in utter silence. He had ruined our day. “Disgraceful dog”, “you’re disgraceful”.

Milo just rested his head on his front paws. He felt fine.

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26 Responses to “Discipline and Fish & Chips”

  1. Yvonne Says:

    Poor Milo.

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  2. algernon1 Says:

    Must be the noise thing, Gerard. Our Dana hate noise from big trucks and buses, though of late they don’t seem to worry her as much. Mind you bull necked bike riders have a habit of ruining any outing to any place of interest.

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I have thought of asking a bike rider to allow Milo to do his thing. What would he do? Milo might bite the leather-clad rider or get stuck on the muffler. In each case he might get over it.
      We have devised a plastic drink-bottle and drilled small holes in the plastic cap. We fill it with water and each time he goes nuts to a motor-bike squeeze water in his face.
      I downloaded this advice from a U-tube-video.
      We might get up early tomorrow morning and take him to the Robertson pie shop. They always have lots of friendly bikies and some might well be nice enough to let Milo bite them. It could be very therapeutic for Milo!
      If it doesn’t help we could have a nice pie. (Always remain positive no matter what.)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. berlioz1935 Says:

    A dog has to do, what a dog has to do. Why wouldn’t he show his anger? It is hard to find parking on a day like that in Kiama.

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      We parked around the corner near the Red Hen shop and walked down to the end along the water. It was very nice till we had the fish and chips and the motor bikes started. He seems to really hate Harley Davidsons. The BMW and Ducati seemed to be less able to arouse his fury.
      There is a problem somewhere, perhaps dating back to childhood. We have always been kind.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. M-R Says:

    I remember a day when we wanted to have lunch in Kiama, in a very similar kind of place. After we’d ordered, half an hour passed. We arose and left, just as a craven youth was seen emerging with two plates. We laughed scornfully.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, one runs this risk each time, no matter where. Go to Thailand or Bali, order your dish, and…5 minutes later…pronto. It is there. The restaurant in Bali has a hundred customers, In Kiama 12 and it often takes a long time.
    This time in Kiama however it came quickly but…the fish would have been a thawed-out relic from the past. That should not happen in a place where there are lots of fresh fish swimming about.
    However our problem was Milo, not the stale fish.

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  6. auntyuta Says:

    Have some nice Robertson pies tomorrow together with Milo. Might be a change for him from chicken necks!🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Silver in the Barn Says:

    Well. As owner of two terriers myself – granted not the JR variety – I can sympathize. Max is driven berserk by the sound of the train whistle in the distance. Berkley, by the appearance of cows in the pasture behind us. They ignite a primal sort of rage in him. Neither is bothered by the other’s hot button. Go figure. As to you, Beige Man, you made me laugh!!

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, I have given up in trying to understand Milo’s rage against motor bikes and their riders. It came to a stage whereby I even contemplated buying leather pants, jackets and a black helmet with visor, hire a Harley Davidson and go Vroom vroom in the lounge room, to see if Milo would attack me.
      I realised then he was undermining my sanity, already on shaky grounds at the best of times. We sometimes stare at each other but I back down. Is he trying to socially exclude me from my own family?
      It is not easy.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Silver in the Barn Says:

        Dying laughing at the very idea, Gerard. It’s funny the things that get stuck in their little canine brains which are nearly impossible to correct. Maybe prop him in front of the TV for an “Easy Rider” viewing?…..grasping at straws here….

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      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Good idea. Milo does rush to the screen when animals appear, but seems puzzled when he can’t sniff their tails, not even behind the TV.

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  8. anay007 Says:

    I haven’t explored much of Kiama except for the Kiama blowhole. I didn’t witness the same characters you did perhaps they were there for the long weekend.

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, I imagine after Mount Batur sunrise, things would look a bit tame in Kiama. I remember visiting the Kiama blowhole many years ago. I alsovaguely remember someone falling into the hole and perishing.
      Welcome here anay 007. Feel free to wonder and wander around.

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  9. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Good dog Milo—Let ’em have it! Did they even give you part of their fish and chips? Just an old chicken neck? That’ll teach those motor bikes to stay out of town when you come in.

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  10. Master of Something Yet Says:

    Since my father died, their JR barks at anyone who hugs my mother (including me, his most favoured other family member). I do not understand what goes on in his head any more than I understand why you would celebrate May Day in October.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, some things are better left alone. So sorry your dad passed away.
      Our JR Milo doesn’t bark much at home. He knows the limit and the dog- pound is like the sword of Democles hanging above his head. He is very sweet really.

      As for May day in October; most other states in Australia do celebrate this Mayday in May.

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  11. gerard oosterman Says:
  12. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    It’s a moment of sad disillusionment when you realise that Milo has been in charge of you all along. All that compliant, convenient behaviour was just a demonstration to you on how to behave – and you must admit, you’ve been a bit dim about that, what with WC’s etc – Milo hopes that he has finally got through to you on the proper treatment of motorbikes. He will probably still accept pats from you if you haven’t learned. After all, you’re only human.

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  13. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    Tattoo – from dutch word taptoe (!) A signal sounded on a drum or bugle; a display of military exercises offered as evening entertainment [this is how I knew it as a child]; a continuous even drumming.

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  14. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Well at least he didn’t let out a long, stinking fart like Colin Snout did last night in front of the kind technician who had come to fix our Internet. The stench was terrible, and I’m still convinced that the IT man thought it was moi and not my filthy perro😦

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