Rattling Sabres and Victa’s

photo Chiminea

“We had this hysteria a few weeks ago when hundreds of police came swooping down on a few that were supposed to be heading towards wiping Australia of the map. There were photos of men with hands tied behind their backs, sitting on suburban nature strips surrounded by masked menacing looking men with guns handy.

Soon after jets were scrambling towards the middle East and the whole country petrified of swords and sounds of manic mid-night cackling by deranged Islamic fanatics. And since then? Niente, niks, rien, nothing, nichts.

The same as ever, queuing in traffic, gas-bills being paid, the cabbage in the fridge, the rattle of the Victa lawnmower at week-ends.

And now… this unholy cabinet united in involving us in yet another war”. Good sense has now taken leave with charlatans, foxtrotting generals, and palm readers in control.

It is now time to put on the sausages. There is nothing like taking stock, reflect on folly, indulge in purple prose, escape in flights of fancy and light the newest barbeque. We have bought one of those Mexican chimineas. A biscuit glazed clay bulbous pot on steel stand with embossed iguanas on the outside. Helvi and I, like true Mexican tribesmen used to, sit around and contemplate while baste the sausage, bung in the prawns, imbibe a Shiraz.

“Can you try not fall asleep when I am talking to you G, or, if you do, I’ll go upstairs to the putor”. “Sorry dear, I am just looking at the flames of the fire,”and relishing your latest post on suggesting putting a Burqa on Abbott, seeing all his decisions are now cloaked in secrecy.” ” I thought it was so apt.” “Don’t pull the flattering one on me, you’re eyes were closed.” “I know you so well.” ” So do I.” “I think the sausages are ready now, can you get the plates?” “Yes dear. Any tom sauce?” “No tom sauce for you G”, it is bad stuff.” “Is it? I am still here!” “Yes, you are telling me.” Sigh!

Domestic bliss around the clay iguana pot.


The silliness of the debate on burqas and Parliamentary security. I can just imagine the upcoming debate on fanatic Santas riding on reindeer, hiding their true faces. God knows what evil lurks behind those beards and red robes. How did they ever infiltrate our lovely sun-kissed country and culture. Did they sneak in on rickety boats? What are their evil aims and why have kiddies in their laps?

There is a lot there!

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15 Responses to “Rattling Sabres and Victa’s”

  1. berlioz1935 Says:

    Abbott says the sight of the burqa is confronting to him. Well, the sight of him and his ministers is a lot more confronting to me. Perhaps there should be a law prohibiting him from appearing on TV or anywhere else.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, we can’t push the off button quick enough when his face (abbott’s)appears now on TV or that of Morrison. Helvi almost beats me to the remote. It is a neck-on-neck race. It is no wonder the population, en-masse, lose their erections, and resort to chemicals or motorised hardware. It is enough to drive one to celibacy or eating bleak cabbage leaves in a draught.
      Much better to sit outside and sip something.


  2. Andrew Says:

    Your Santa is definitely a fraud. Santa arrives in the depths of winter and not, as I once witnessed, in the high 30s with everybody clad in as little as possible whilst the Crypto-Santa parades in red cloak and boots, slowly roasted by the sun.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Andrew, Teerrists in disguise. They make everyone go shopping and empty their wallets. There is no other choice.
      We just used to get hand-knitted socks from Santa, but now…2 metres of televisions and giant food mixers, electronic gadgets with so many warnings and instructions, one needs a Uni degree to work it out.


  3. rod Says:

    Have you increased or decreased your carbon footprint with this Mexican gadget?

    It may be that the arrests were intended to soften you up for military action.

    As for tomato sauce, I have read that is beneficial for the prostate, though this would plainly be of little benefit to the estimable H.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Probably decreased, seeing we are not using coal generated power. We are on the cusp of getting solar power on the roof. A six panel job generating about 6.5 KWH which just about should kill our energy bill. We hardly use electricity and I am forever creeping about switching off anything that glows in the dark, driving H mad.
      Amazingly, if one produces more than is used, you get a credit which you cannot take up. In other words- no money- for generating more power than is used.
      H doesn’t take to tom. sauce like I do. A small bottle lasts about 4 years, so…who knows, I could well be prostrate at the end of my present supply. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. rod Says:

    Unusual scheme which awards you a worthless credit. I’m beginning to think you live in Australia.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Since the privatisation of power supply, there are a host of electricity companies to choose from. They all charge differently even though the power coming down from the poles is the same. How odd though that one has to be a Sherlock Holmes to find out the cheapest ‘deal’.
      I don’t know how the average person can be savvy enough to go through this maze of options.
      The same with solar power. The import rate can be different from export. It is all so cunning.
      Oh, all a nightmare…free enterprise and democracy…a hoax.


  5. stuartbramhall Says:

    The hardest for me is coping with life in a supposed democracy when our leaders do nothing but lie to us.

    Liked by 2 people

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      They all lie. You can tell by the way they shift their eyes around. To me it sounds unconvincing.
      In Belgium there was period not long ago, when there was no government. A coalition could not be decided upon. Yet, things went along just fine.


  6. auntyuta Says:

    What a wonderful conversation between G and H! I love it! I must say this Mexican clay pot looks very interesting to me. I use tomato sauce on sausages and pies which I do not eat very often so the sauce lasts for years. (Peter refuses to use sauce) I am the same as you. I do constantly switch lights off. Peter agrees that we should not have lights on where they are not needed. I tried once to turn some light off in my daughter’s place where all the lights are always turned on, even during daytime. However turning any lights off was not on according to Caroline. No, no, no Mum, she says. Meaning absolutely all lights have to be turned on, even during daytime! So I did learn my lesson: I really shouldn’t stick my nose where it does not belong! The strange thing is in a lot of other ways my daughter is a true environmentalist. 🙂
    Big holiday weekend coming up, Gerard. Enjoy it while you can. 🙂


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, I did not know about the long week-end, It is labour day, I believe.
      Yes, our daughter too is having standby lights on but does switch off lights where not in use.
      We never or very seldom have those popular ceiling lights on and prefer reading lights or ‘schemer licht’.
      Our combined lounge/dining/kitchen has 16 ceiling lights. Ridiculous!


  7. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    I thought tomato sauce had turned out to be especially beneficial…


  8. sedwith Says:

    Santa got shot down after last xmas trip by a US drone supported by Pine Gap intel while his sleigh was heading home over Pakistan….sorry (good post by the way)


  9. sedwith Says:

    Santa got shot down over Pakistan on his way home from work. Twas a US drone strike supported with Pine Gap intel soŕry you didn’t hear about it…(great post by the way)


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