The Iphone salvation.

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It finally had to happen. After weeks of absence in more ways than just physical, I took the plunge. I bought a ‘refurbished’ Apple IPhone from a large toy and game shop. Perhaps they were called a B and D games shop. I could look up the receipt but won’t in case I lose the impetus to go on with this tale of woe and joy.

We were overseas and as I needed to contact urgently some of my contacts by e-mail, I was looking around for a techy device I could use. Most tourists still doing the usual clicking, swiping and tweexting. Why could I not enter that same sort of world? I have a mobile phone that is a phone and doesn’t allow e-mails or give location maps.(Tweet and text) I had been warned not to get caught in an outrageous mobile bill and had taken the precaution in switching off my ‘roaming capability’ believing that I could still use my mobile but without the exorbitant high charges. It turned out my phone was switched off. It took five days for my brother in Australia to get my phone back on roaming with much relief of woe replaced with a drop of joy.

I still had more than 36 dollars of re-charge left so managed to make the necessary calls including to Telstra not to ever switch off my ‘roaming’. If nothing else, aimless roaming is the essence of life, surely! Is there any other way through life than to roam?

After our return to Aus and the grim reality and horror of Abbott’s gaping mouth on TV and the triumphant Chris Morrison regaling his killing of refugees, I took the plunge and with total disregard for the state of my future mental health bought the IPhone. It was very sunny. There was a blinding reflection from the concrete parking lot in front of the toy shop. After entering the shop one was greeted by lots of pink coloured wares. Most of the shop was bathed in a pink halo and I am sure that would have added to this lapse in my mainly purposeful directional sanity. The salesman was aware of my diminished being and knew there was the perfect customer. I had entered his lair openly and without hesitation.

He addled up to me and asked if I wanted anything. Was I perhaps after a computer game or a good game console? Do you have grandchildren, he asked sweetly? He had a broad smile and pearl white teeth, perhaps of an Afghan ascendency. I have noticed that endless wars seems to bring out the best in smiles and white teeth. No amount of indefinite detention seems to diminish their good cheer and friendliness( there is lesson for us here, surely)?

I now have the device and it works. In public I make a show of swiping and acting out the world of the esoteric and well informed, of all that is IT and has a coloured screen showing Apps. What next? Should I get a gleaming white pair of ear phones and walk past a Dick Smith store?

I am one of them now!

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44 Responses to “The Iphone salvation.”

  1. Andrew Says:

    There are greater perils ahead, Gerard. You will soon have Whatsapp, Facebook, mobile WP and you will be blogging from your phone. I assume you realise that Abbott can now monitor your every movement and the NSA will be tracking you for life for using the word Afghan. I think you should switch it off, put it in the freezer and bury it under a month’s supply of ice cubes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. M-R Says:

    I don’t REALLY like it, Gerard … I fear for your cyber security. Oh look ! – Mr H just said the same thing ! See ? – we care about yer. Speakin for meself, I also loathe all that stuff: I spend my life online trying to keep up with this !!!

    Like

  3. solidgoldcreativity Says:

    Best. Invention. Ever. You watch, you’ll be in love in no time.

    Like

  4. Lottie Nevin Says:

    I’m horrified, speechless. You’ve really let the side down here, Gerard. If you of all people can be seduced in to this great marketing trap, what hope is there for the rest of us? There’ll be no stopping you now, you’ve sold your soul to the devil that’s for sure:mrgreen:

    Like

  5. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, Mea Culpa Lottie. A victim of decadence with deep and sordid vices. I am reduced to swiping and moving up and down a coloured screen, getting vicarious satisfaction from ill gotten downloads and uploads. Forgive me daddy. I have failed and sunk into the inferno of no return.

    Like

  6. rod Says:

    I don’t buy the Apple Corporation but I do have a smartphone. The way things are going here in the YUK you could be marooned if you don’t have one. Everything from bank transactions, to buying bus tickets and paying for parking. There is a danger the old will be left behind by all this. As for contactless payment . . .

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, and that sums up the disadvantge; it is all so contact-less. No more chatting to the bank teller or the friends. All firmly locked onto their gadgets and ‘connecting’, but…what for…? The lonelyness of our lives,locked into the embrace of 4-5G Iphone till the grave.

      Like

  7. David lister Says:

    Gerard, I am so impressed with your advancement in technology……

    Next will be an ipad…….

    Like

  8. Curt Mekemson Says:

    There may be an app for chirozo sausages as well, Gerard. Here’s how it will work. It will start by reading your mind and recognizing they you want a chirozo sausage before you even know you do. It will then order the sausage which will be delivered to your doorstep by an Amazon drone. The sausage will be accepted by you robot who will pop the sausage onto the grill and deliver it to you with a cold brew. Oh yeah, it will also automatically deduct all of the relevant fees from your Google/Apple/Amazon bank account. –Curt

    Liked by 1 person

  9. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    Oh you are all so advanced in the tech world. I pride myself on keeping to my simple cell phone which calls in and calls out. I am an anomaly in this new world, lurking in the background learning the lingo and smugly watching how it will all end up. All in spite of half my family working for tech. But the chorizo sausage thing may be a good idea Curt.

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I am not really sure I can get too enthusiastic about the IPhone. I like its weight and smooth finish. It opens up with a reassuring blue screen and asks me to swipe to the right and give a password in numbers. That’s when the real actions start,s with a multi-coloured feast of options opening up. At that stage I get too exited and I close down, reassured all is well and the world is the same as before!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. petspeopleandlife Says:

    At last you got “with it.” My daughter told me that I’d never learn how to use one, so in essence you told me that I’m pretty dumb.🙂

    I manage on the computer just fine. I am also satisfied with my phone that I use for texting since my two adult children prefer to text rather than call. Ha, ha. What is that about? When they want something that is really important to them I get a call. Oh well, Gerard that is life.

    You will probablly “fall in love” with your iphone.

    Nice post that I enjoyed a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. gerard oosterman Says:

    I am in your world petspeopleandlife. Not really a tech head more of a word head. I can text and even put on speaker phone. Not so good at deleting or adding. Too many options. What is a facecall? I tried it and my face all pinched and frightened appeared on my screen.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    My advice to all—get a 7 year old to do it for you, but keep the language clean.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. auntyuta Says:

    A mobile phone? Not for me, thank you. So far I was not tempted to acquire one! Peter has one, sending messages to the children which takes him ages, whereas the children can text back within seconds!🙂

    Like

  14. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    I am creeping along the same road ahead of you, having got my iPhone (only 4g) last year, I have recently succumbed to an iPad mini, and I have to say it is as good as a magic carpet. But yes, it is like clinging on to a cliff face with your fingertips to keep up with what you can, or indeed want, to do with these things.

    Like

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, a mini Ipad has been recommended to me as well.The keyboard is bigger, but is is larger and doesn’t fit inside my pocket. I’ll just take it easy and get used to the Iphone first.

      Like

  15. ChristineR Says:

    I have a windows smartphone Gerard, and I use the camera the most for sending photos to my blog! I’m not a great user otherwise, but they are handy to have if you break down or your landline fails. Ever tried finding a public phone box in working order these days! Texting is handy, but slow with the gap between my fingers and brain. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Sending photos to your blog. I am impressed. I used to transfer photos from my normal camera and a cable to my computer. It worked well. I am not sure how to do this between Iphone and computer.

      Like

      • ChristineR Says:

        You get a special email address for your blog … I’ll go track down how in a sec … and then it is just a matter of emailing using the share function that will come up on each of the camera images (when you touch the right bit). Or you can download the WordPress application for the iphone. Oh, I email from my phone direct to wordpress, but you can email to your computer too. I use a different email address for my phone to my computer.

        Like

      • gerard oosterman Says:

        Thanks Christine R,
        I’ll will figure it out and tomorrow are visiting our grandsons. There is a good chance they will know and show.
        The camera on my Apple Iphone is very good and allows cropping, editing etc.

        Like

      • berlioz1935 Says:

        You get an iCloud account and then the camera sends the picture to you without you doing anything. Of course your camera must be connected to the internet.

        Like

  16. ChristineR Says:

    http://en.support.wordpress.com/post-by-email/
    How to post by email.

    Like

  17. Patti Kuche Says:

    Now that you have one, get onto Twitter and annoy the hell out of the ALP!

    Like

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