Planning for Byron Bay.


We are going by hook or by crook. Most likely by crook. After a particularly boring rainy and overcast day we decided to do ‘something’. You can’t just forever dwell on our Guvernment to try and reign in the deficit by pinching the pockets of derelict pensioners laying about knee deep in ice and loo-lolling around on meth and crystals. Leave the rich alone! They are really struggling, battling on bravely and oh so frugally.

So, if it gets a bit quiet around here it doesn’t mean we have carked it or indeed are at yet another funeral. We will be in Byron Bay. Accommodation has been booked including for Milo the Jack Russell. Into the local kennel with his favourite cushion and millions of other dogs to keep him company. Let’s hope he will contain himself and not rub up someone’s leg, dog or men. He’s been having some strange hormonal twinges lately, despite or because of castration.

It is odd, getting old! I had some surprising IT spams lately including an invitation to visit ‘Lola’s den’. I always thought Lola was a name for a man’s best friend, man,cat or mice. If you get it in your inbox; don’t be tempted! It turned out to be an intimate insight, including close up photos of genitalia. It is mind boggling how the internet infiltrates even those with a long standing and upright marriage. It is done through something called tracing ‘cookies’. Where does the cookie come from?

Yet, what was it that drove us all, not that long ago, into each others arms if not between legs as well? Is that what has driven me all those years? Looking at it in the declining years, all so purple, swollen and engorged. Surely, there is so much more to sex than labia and testicles. (like walnuts in a sock according to some)
I had a friend over who is an expert in computers. We created a back-up on a hard-drive and expunged all the Lola Dens and more. No more purple cookies.

Suitcases are packed for leaving this Sat. C U L8r.

Tags: , , , , ,

13 Responses to “Planning for Byron Bay.”

  1. rod Says:

    Affection beats sex every time. Sex and its rumoured pleasures is Nature’s way of conning us into reproducing since, knowing what’s going on, we could choose to stop.

    What would be a welcome release would be an ‘in season’ period lasting, say, one day a year. Then, for the rest of the time, we would be free to think clearly without effort.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, that hug I get each night and some more. That’s what I could die for instead of pulsating beetrooting.
      Yes, one day a year or even one hour would be nice and leave the rest of time to think freely.


  2. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Lola and her labia……the perils of the internet eh? and sometimes it can be something seemingly as innocuous as an email from a ‘friend’ telling you that they are in trouble – my computer got hacked by a whole load of spam fritters a couple of years ago and it sent out an SOS to everyone in my contacts list saying that I was stuck in Greece and needed some money and that my passport had been stolen – and of course the minute that anyone opened the fake email, they got hacked in to too. Grrrrr and more.

    I wish you hadn’t mentioned walnuts in socks, it may well put me off my stride……..

    Have a very good time in Byron Bay and look forward to reading about your trip soon.


  3. gerard oosterman Says:

    We will think of our friends in the rest of the world. Byron bay is the music hippy world of Australia. Surf boards and rock and roll. White noses and a sparkling bone dry Rose wine with fish&chips.
    Lola’s labia a mere fast fainting image.


  4. M-R Says:

    Lucky you. Is that what the photo’s of ? And btw, the walnuts thing was somebody – might have been Steve Martin – describing Arnold Schwarzenegger ! 😀


  5. gerard oosterman Says:

    A warm welcome M-R;
    I think it dates to antiquity. Was it not used in Quo Vadis with Peter being side-lined in a chariot race doomed forever to limpness?
    Perhaps it was in Ben Hur. I don’t care, men are so hopeless when past their used by date. They often look as if they don’t know what hit them.


  6. Rosie Says:

    Byron – have spent a lot of time there. That will make you forget Hockey’s Commission of Audit.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Rosie Says:

    Sorry – forgot to say – enjoy your holiday. And Milo, I am sure, will have a great time at the kennels.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, Milo will make lots of friends. He will take a large and much favourite cushion and a pair of my socks he has been sleeping on.
      The kennel also feeds chicken necks, Milo’s favourite.


  8. Hung One On Says:

    Visited there many years ago, beautiful place.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: