Is it a Troll or unrequited love?

The plight of Odyssey

The plight of Odyssey

A curious case of internet foibles and troubles has been following me on the screen. Please, all come a little closer to the screen again. Intimate revelations might be exposed. I can’t or don’t want to be responsible for a quickening of pulses or worse, unguarded moments of spontaneity in nether regions causing complete wardrobe malfunctions.

Over the last year or so a person of either sex has been following me on those blogs where I sometimes like to dwell and make dubious comments. The blogs are mainly of a social commentary genre. Only fools frequent those kind of pages. But, there you have it. My dad was right; “just stick to your meccano set or help your mum wash up”, was his sage advice. I failed, dear daddy.

Of course, anyone responding to what you have written on any blog is a resounding affirmation that something has been said that is either liked or disliked. Any response is better than nothing. At the beginning of my blogging career I was even thrilled to get spams, some of which offered free piano tuning or trial doses of increasing sexual desire levels.( of either sex)

In my bachelor days I used to live off Spam for days. I loved the challenge of opening the can without breaking that little key that had to be slowly turned to open the lid. It needed patience. If you turned it too quickly, the key would break and one then needed a hammer and chisel. I still remember the lovely smell, sitting on my single bed, scooping it all out. I used a small spoon so it would last longer.

But back to my lament about the stalker, he/she seems to get some weird thrill out of trying to unsettle me. “Well, there might be some logical reason for that,” my H could well retort.

How anyone can get their rocks off on my social blogs’ pleadings for ‘Salvation Army soup for the unemployed’ or ‘subsidised walking frames for the over 75’ is puzzling. Still, I have to consider all possibilities. What people find fascinating, no matter how mind-boggling to me, could well send others in a frenzy of excitement with strange expectations.

It calls for tolerance. Some claim this alone has its own reward. In any case, the responses does seem to give the stalker the oxygen they crave. The incursions are not that serious but even mosquito bites can be irritating. It pays to have a spray can handy!

He/she seems to often change their aliases but I recognize the style of writing and even though moderators have sometimes been alerted, often it is too late and the quirky but irritating rants are allowed to remain. On my own Oosterman Treat Blog it is no problem. The response gets wiped as quick as it takes to push the delete button.

He/she/it is not someone that I know but I have come to the startling and possibly deluded conclusion, that it might be a case of a ‘love’ troll.

Surely not? At my age, could that still happen? Do they get hopelessly smitten? Is it my gravitas, giving the angle of my nose, the tilt of the affirmative chin or my distant look, hinting at generous promises with ripe fulfilment?

Sadly, if this is the case ( or any case), it must remain unrequited. He has already been taken. No number of overexcited internet trolls will be able to unhinge me. It will not ever be reciprocated. This love is doomed.

I have told her/him to be gone not to darken my well scrubbed doorstep again. I am curious if this phenomenon is rare or is it just a case of; expose yourself and you run this risk in a world of demented, frustrated souls, waiting to pounce on unsuspected bloggers. Is theirs a hope for the blogger to become totally unhinged by their persistent obsessive statements? Do they relish the chance of a mental cave-in, or… do they expect a marriage proposal? Do they live solely off the joy of an outburst of anger . Who would know?

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21 Responses to “Is it a Troll or unrequited love?”

  1. auntyuta Says:

    I think H has nothing to fear. I am curious whether he, she, it is going to be frightened away now! 🙂


  2. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    Irritating, but you sound very calm and tolerant about it. Good luck.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I wasn’t all that calm last week and wrote this:

      “Oh dear, of the over 260 posts on the GG by MacCallum you finally did find me, your love a fatal attraction as no other. How many hours, nay days of ferreting, having to go through all the Drums pieces and thousands of responses, but, finally… you found me!

      Cast me loose, Sea Mendez, Sea Monster, Voice, VoR, Reader1, Reader et all.
      Resist the siren’s call. Fill your ears with wax or tie yourself to the mast. Leave my unworthy soul afloat on the ocean of bitter tears, like aimless driftwood of so many loves left alone. I am no Odysseus. Just a mere fighter for free Salvation army soup for the unemployed, the subsidised walking frame for the over 75′ers. (The freedom not to genuflect for those liable to break the pea soup wind in waiting).

      Find a good one. The lonely articled clerk on a Friday night at Homebush’s ‘The Locomotive’ in front of his fish-chips. He still has his own teeth and a handy portfolio of blue chips as well. His own bedsit at Parramatta. He needs a good strong -willed woman. Go on, give it a go.”


  3. tulipels Says:

    I think it is love!


  4. solidgoldcreativity Says:

    Very funny post … “Just stick to your meccano set or help your mum wash up” and “At the beginning of my blogging career I was even thrilled to get spams …”

    Your trolly dolly will be in a frenzy!!

    Are you talking about BE’s place? Some of the exchanges between you and others are priceless, esp the ones after Xmas.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, BE blog is riddled with trolling. I am amazed that Bob E doesn’t do more banning. The trouble is, that she comes back under a different alias all the time.
      She is also busy at the Pig’s Arms. I think she is ADHD sufferer, Having watched the ABC. ‘Kids on speed’ last night. OR… a sociopath.


  5. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    I love it! A real cyber-stalker. Will mysteries never cease? This could get interesting.


  6. Andrew Says:

    I have never knowingly been trolled, Gerard. What is wrong with me and my blog? Do I need to change my profile picture?


  7. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Goodness, I’m itching to know more about this troll of yours. Back in the Indo days, I did have one male commenter who did his level best to wind me up – he’d write some pretty snarky things on my posts but mercifully he’s now vanished, presumably back into his cave or sniffing around some other fresh meat that’s newly landed in cyber world.
    I love your detective work, Gerard. Knowing when the troll changes it’s alias by the style of writing…I agree with Kay, this could get interesting.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      Yes, the way to get rid of the troll or stalker is rife with frustration. When one writes and gets snide, sarcastic remarks over and over again, it becomes unhinging, especially if one tries and defends oneself.
      It is very common in cyberspace and recognized as a major contributing factor in suicide. It is serious. The young are especially ill equipped to deal with it. Those blogs that insist on real names with solid identities with good moderation are the least likely to attract the stalker or trolls.


  8. rod Says:

    The more you think about it, the more this person wins.


  9. petspeopleandlife Says:

    Gerard this is too funny. I can not imagine what sort of blogs you are commenting on that lures the nut cases who get their jollies by rattling your cage. I am still laughing at your response to Rod. “Thinking is always a bit dodgy. I do it in the dark now. ”

    You are so darn clever. Do not respond to the troll or the nut job or whatever its name. This is what I learned working as a nurse and as a wife. Believe me there is no similarity. But it “goes like this.”

    If there is action and then a reaction, the situation continues. If there is no reaction from you then there is generally no further action from the troll or the nut job- whatever you prefer to call “it.”

    This is one of the funniest posts that I’ve had the pleasure of reading. I can’t find the the best definition of your wit. One day I’ll have an answer but I reckon I’ll find it if I “think in the dark!”



    • gerard oosterman Says:

      I try and not respond and leave the troll alone. I can’t imagine the state of mind that roams around the world’s blogs seeking to throw personal invectives around. Perhaps they are lonely and hungry for attention, any attention.
      They must lie awake at night, tossing and turning on their disappointed and bitter beds, the only thing that keeps the attachment to feeling ‘alive’, giving to others spite and darts of abuse. All done in a few nasty seconds.


  10. gerard oosterman Says:

    Reblogged this on Oosterman Treats Blog and commented:

    A love troll?


  11. Patti Kuche Says:

    Just say no Gerard, just say no . . .


  12. ThePoliticalVagina Says:

    Aw Gerard that is poopy! Someone should invent a troll smasher. A big lump of cyber wood to bash their head or fingers should they peep over the edge of the bridge. Then again I feel that living in all that negativity must be painful for them so in effect they are their own punishment upon themselves aren’t they? Negative nasty little turds that they are. Delete works well for me. Love the ‘I do it in the dark’ response….


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