The plight of democracy for Dogs (Milo will be calling you soon)

008The plight of democracy for dogs. (Milo will be calling you).

My, how time flies. Just now, while taking our Jack Russell ‘Milo’ for his constitutional, I saw and heard the first of the season’s leaf-blower at full throttle. No, it’s not a kind of rare bird or marsupial. It’s a petrol machine dreaded by some but mainly revered by many suburbanites whose life long aim seem to be to keep errant leaves at bay. This is going to be a noisy period and I dread it.

As it was, while walking past this lady with the strap on leaf blower, Milo decided he would let go of a couple of brownies of his own as well, right in front of her gloriously flowering pink Myrtle tree. They blended in well and were almost indiscernible from those golden shimmering autumnal leaves.  I always carry a bag to bare hand scoop the poop in but decided the lady’s’ blower might do that job just as well.

Some dog walkers carry the plastic bag ostentatiously in their hand or have it tied to the dog lead.  It is as if they want to say; look at me, I am brave enough to pick up the still warm and steaming turds of my dog. Look at me, look at me! I don’t suffer from this habit because I am a bit rebellious by nature and do not wish to conform in the poop scooping traditions of the neighbourhood at all times. I carry a bag in my pocket next to my hanky and this leaves many guessing if I belong to the brigade of callous dog poop on the footpath abandoners.

Milo and I have an unspoken understanding that, at times, he is allowed to do it spontaneously without his efforts being scooped away insensitively within seconds. We all know that dogs like to mark their territories by leaving calling cards. Who am I, as an intransigent dog lover to deny him those instinctive urgings?  It would be cruel, and I am merely heeding good dog etiquette. How would you like it if someone’s strange hand underneath deprived you of the same in such callous manner?


Some years ago, when dogs were free to roam and do their business at call and with reckless abandonment, you could not walk around Amsterdam without risking slipping and sliding around the Damrak or Prinsengracht as a result of the unfettered democratic freedom rights of dogs and their calling cards. Some wit decided to exploit this natural phenomenon by sticking the world’s national flags into the dog poop and taking close-up photographs, producing souvenir Post cards for tourists to send home to.  He called those cards “Tulips of Amsterdam”. He made a fortune and is now whooping it up in the Bahamas stretched out on a deckchair while in deep contemplation of his deposit savings book.

A fair reward for laying flat out on the pavement taking those close-up shots within centimeters of dog s…t in Amsterdam before their free roaming days were outlawed and strict toilet habits for dogs introduced and made law…Amsterdam is now clean but many dogs are nervous and usually wait till they are back in the department and deposit it under strained conditions in a special box with vermiculite.

Milo is so lucky able to decorate the Myrtle tree amongst the autumn leaves. Good boy Milo, good boy.

Tags: , , , , ,

15 Responses to “The plight of democracy for Dogs (Milo will be calling you soon)”

  1. solidgoldcreativity Says:

    Haha! Brilliant post. Good boy, Milo.

    Love the detail of the bag nestled next to the hanky. Still mulling over the strap-on leaf blower …


  2. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Good on Milo! Oh how I identified with your description of the poop bags and the whole rigmarole of poop, scoops and the like. The paraphernalia needed for such events is big business in the UK.

    Pet shops have a fabulous array of over the top kit for dealing such things, one could spend a small fortune if you wanted. Bags, scented bags to boot, a neat device that scrapes,scoops and bags it for you…the list is endless. and of course in a choice of hot colours, day-glo pinks, fluorescent orange. So tasteful!

    When I lived in London and had my two dachshunds, Fritz & Otto, I used to spend my life bending down and scooping their steaming turds off pavements, wet grass in public parks or sometimes even the back seat of the car. Disgraceful! I hear Milo cry and he’s right, they were very badly behaved dachshunds but I did love them and miss them a lot. Why is it that dogs have a canny knack of knowing exactly the right moment to drop one when you are in a busy place in full public view and have forgotten your bags? I’ve had to resort to picking these ‘special’ ones up with my bare hands on occasion – just so that I don’t become some sort of social pariah in my own street!

    As for Amsterdam! Holy Poop Scoops….I’ve never seen so much dog shit in my life. I don’t know when the ‘No Poop’ policy came out but when I was there last, about 8 years ago, it was littered with turds – there must be some anarchy going on with the dog owners or they are feeding there canine friends far too much roughage.


  3. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, Lottie, Loved your big love story. What a moving video. Must admit I fought tooth and nails to keep my tears in.

    Ah Milo, best dog ever. He usually does his turd underneath bushes or amongst leaves. Once only he did it in front of a shop. The shop specialised in Kitchen wares, including cheese shavers, coffee perculators etc.
    People hop scotched all over the place while Helvi pretended it wasn’t her dog. I picked it up with bare hands and chucked them in a bin. I then went to Woolies to wash my hands.
    We only feed Milo chicken necks and hard biscuits so, they are almost as good as picking up Mars Violet crumble bars.
    Regards to Irishman.


  4. helvityni Says:

    Before Christmas we took Milo to a dog parlour to be pampered with clipping , cutting, washing and de-fleaing; he loved it so much he wants to visit them more often, when we walk past the place he tries to open the door and looks disappointed when he can’t…
    Today I felt quilty and promised him to make an appointment for next week… He looked happy 🙂


  5. Andrew Says:

    Quote: How would you like it if someone’s strange hand underneath deprived you of the same in such callous manner? Unquote

    Not something I have previously contemplated. To my knowledge I am not in a habit of marking my territory in this manner but should I ever feel inclined to do so I think I would defend my deposit vigorously. Could you elaborate a little on whose hand it is that is so strange?

    It seems that you and Milo make a fine team. Frankly I am more perturbed by the image conjured up of ladies with strap on leaf blowers. I think some photos are required just to give me peace of mind.


    • gerard oosterman Says:

      No, I have never had anyone snatching things away from underneath me. That’s why it is so cruel not to at least wait a while before scooping it away from our dogs. The world is dysfunctional enough as it is without involving our pets as well.

      As for photos of ladies with strap on leaf blowers, I might leave that to you seeing you are the master with the lens and close-ups. Your photos are stunning as are your droll observations of the world we all inhabit.


  6. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    It’s just waste food Milo. Think of it as fertilizer for the Myrtle tree.


  7. paul walter Says:

    Leafblowers, a device invented exclusively to blow your rubbish only as far as your neighbours place, in order to duck responsibility for keeping things on your side of the fence tidy.
    It is an example of the same mentality that is dominant in culture, “private gain, public pain “.
    What lazy b–s people are!


    • helvityni Says:

      paul, some of the b-s on internet are not lazy at all, If anything they are TOO busy for my liking, if you get my drift 🙂


  8. paul walter Says:

    Any way, what mess can a dog that size leave, unless its owners encourage it use the neighbour’s yard regularly, in which case it is the underlying same ploy as that of the leaf blower.
    Dogs certainly do relieve themselves in a favourite place.
    I used to walk a girlfriend’s Dobermann and she certainly had a favourite place when out for a walk and unaccountably off the leash.
    What a pity they hadn’t invented pooper-scoopers back then!


  9. Says:

    Ultimately our own departure was delayed by two days, fairly benign in
    comparison. The $20,000 expedition includes return airfare for two from the winner’s closest international gateway; 1 night of hotel accommodation in Ushuaia, Argentina with breakfast; a Main Deck Twin Cabin aboard Lyubov Orlova for 11 nights, including all shipboard meals; and all excursions in the Antarctic Peninsula as described in the daily program. One person asked us if they have nice hotels and places to eat.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: