Election, Rejection,Erection

Election, Rejection, Erection.

We are again at the threshold of a possible change. The election in September is what will dominate much of the media and news. The worrying thing is the contemplation that Abbott will get in. Can you imagine? The horror, the horror of it all.  And Pyne, oh the pain…That face so contorted with spitefulness formed by decades of anger and malice. What makes him tick, one wonders. Yes, having watched him on Q&A, I could not but push the off button. The man seems filled with anger or revenge towards anyone with a different opinion to his own.

I could not help but chuckle when someone yesterday on the ABC Drum described Abbott as ‘The Lance Armstrong of Politics’. I am unsure if he is even in that league, suspect he is much more lacking in imagination than Lance. After all, Lance was so convincing, the whole world remained spellbound by his lies for years.

I stood back in amazement when that scandal unfolded, never in my worst nightmare could I have imagined that a metal frame and two wheels and a man dressed tightly in Lycra akimbo on this contraption could possibly create such turmoil. On TV I sometimes noticed whole mobs of cyclists bent over their bikes going hell for leather trying to go as fast as possible to a mountain top. I could not help but think of the possible itches and rashes that would have to be growing just as fast between their Lycra enhanced speeding thighs. That thought made me switch off the TV with the remote pointing at those cyclists with some cheerful alacrity.

I sometimes think that Abbott’s fondness for cycling and his strange swagger through Parliament might well also be related to Lycra.  Mind you, sitting for hours in Parliament would give anyone an itch if not bouts of incontinence to boot.

With the ageing population I noticed the canny Aussie entrepreneurial spirit rising again. Many super-markets and chemists carry blatant advertising of nappies for the ‘more mature’.  One local chemist shop has an ad where a greying ‘more mature’ man dressed in nothing more than white underpants clearly showing a huge bulging nappy,  smiling defiantly while standing next to his Jaguar staring straight into the camera. What chutzpah, what nerve and male libbers. A standing ovation for the male please!

http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/01/30/3678527.htm

I haven’t quite reached that stage yet but H is making encouraging noises by pointing out the mature nappy division at Woollies.  This brings me to the erection part of my tale. Was it a dream or factual but did I read recently that men lacking in ‘firm enough for intercourse’ tumescence are at higher risk of heart attack? I think it must be true because I have been a little anxious about my own firmness of late. What do they mean with the specification of firmness? Is it some kind of angle measurement? Is anything over ninety degrees (from the floor up)) firm enough? I wished I never read that article, am forever looking and waiting for erections to happen now, and hoping to delay or prevent a heart attack. I used to be so happy waking up and admiring the morning glory greeting me ever so cheerfully. This morning, possibly through that rotten article it was not ‘firm’, just half mast looking a bit chagrined.

It is not easy being a man. We carry a huge burden.

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4 Responses to “Election, Rejection,Erection”

  1. Elisabeth Says:

    Gorgeous post, Gerard – all those wild and wonderful associations. Thanks for your honesty and for making me smile.

    Like

  2. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Now I can’t get the thought of a man with an erection wearing a pair of adult nappies out of my head. It might just put me off sex too….thanks for that Gerard!

    Like

  3. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes Lottie, it is not easy, but…I haven’t reached that stage yet. There is hope for all of us.

    Like

  4. Rosie Says:

    Somehow missed this one – just found it – classic!

    Like

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