Live’s golden Syrup in lieu of matings.

pancakes with golden syrup

pancakes with golden syrup

If life gets to you, try pancakes with golden syrup. If sweets are not your choice, there is a special on crocodile tail-fillets and emu cheeks at a butcher here in Bowral.

I remember years ago buying crocodile fillets but ended up stowing it in the deepfreeze. The grey look of it together with a vision of swishing tails with murderous intend towards tourists, made me finally feed it to the cat. It is supposed to taste like chicken. Thanks for that, but give me the golden crispy look of a well baked chook.

Even in that area I have never been able to eat our own faithful Rhode Island reds. It is no wonder we failed our farming venture in making a living from chickens. The idea of wringing a chicken’s neck after it has laid numerous eggs is something I felt akin to murder. There is a bit of hypocrisy in that stance, I know. I should really not eat chicken at all nor sleep under blankets filled with geese down or wear leather shoes.

I love animals but also used our stud male alpaca ‘Ruffo’ to provide an income through making him work ‘hard.’ By working ‘hard’ in farm parlance means stud males being used for matings to females. All the male gets for his work is a handful of Lucerne hay. Many males would not even get this while their heartless owners would just pocket the money.

We never made Ruffo do more than two matings a day and generally allowed generous post-coital naps of at least two hours in between. Alpacas are exotic animals, very gentle and loving. Females only ovulate through mating (induced ovulating) so as they don’t ovulate normally it is hard to pick a time when they are in the mood. Our macho Ruffo though was always successful in bringing them in the mood and through his sheer masculine, chivalrous, noble, valiant and gentlemanly behaviour they would soon sit down expecting and even welcoming Ruffo to mount them.

The mating itself is loving and gentle but an arduous procedure lasting sometimes an hour or more. After a week or more, the female will spit at the male if pregnant. I often thought it might be an idea for human females to take a leaf out of this delightful cultural alpaca mien. Why go on with a mere male after that? Just give them a handful of Lucerne hay as well.

It is such an ambiguous world. It is no wonder some of us fall into buckets of grey gloom at times. On the other hand, what could be worse than for the male human to be led around with a halter around his neck expecting to be taken around and used for just sex matings. Be honest boys, it would be dreadful, would it not? Just imagine it!

It is no wonder some of us also resort to pancakes with golden syrup to lift our spirits.

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25 Responses to “Live’s golden Syrup in lieu of matings.”

  1. Curt Mekemson Says:

    Being led around by a halter for sex. Hmmm. Are we talking 20 or a heck of a lot older. :) –Curt

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  2. gerard oosterman Says:

    a lot older, like thrice. ;)

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  3. rod Says:

    Pancakes and golden syrup wouldn’t do it for me, but each to his own. Saying that, I’m not sure what my own would be.

    Like

  4. Andrew Says:

    Such tenderness towards Ruffo, Gerard. Wasn’t it he that ate your pyjamas?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Big M Says:

    I dunno, Gez, I could still go twice a day!

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  6. gerard oosterman Says:

    I am amazed! I would be happy to go half.

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  7. berlioz1935 Says:

    What a delightful observation of life.

    There is an old saying among Inca females, “Never leave your husband alone with a female alpaca.” Perhaps that is why Ruffo couldn’t resist. What a life he had, a limitless supply of Lucerne and females. To the old philosophical question, “Are you happy?” he would have asked back , “Is there any other way?”.

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  8. gerard oosterman Says:

    Yes, Ruffo did have a good life. I wonder where he is now? He was a certified stud male with an impeccable pedigree. His father ‘Ledger’s dream’ was bought for $200.000,-
    We were lucky to get our money back. Most breeders were taken in by shonky operators and dubious publicity, ramping up unreal expectations.
    Remember the ostriches before that.? Angora Goats?

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  9. Big M Says:

    I was speaking with a Dutch farmer, two days back. He said the big rippoff in Europe was Emu farming..no one wants the meat, eggs or leather, so what the hell are they good for?

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  10. Hung One On Says:

    I think I will stick to pancakes

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  11. Lottie Nevin Says:

    Alpaca matings last an hour or more? heavens, when goats mate it’s over in seconds, like blink and you’ll miss it sort of thing. I think Ruffo had a charmed life. I’m not sure that I could face eating crocodile either, or ostrich, or emu come to think of it but I could handle a plate of pancakes with golden syrup or, even better, pannenkoeken met stroop en spek – my absolute favourite :D

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  12. gerard oosterman Says:

    Lottie, Your Dutch is perfect. With spek is even nicer.
    Ruffo is in alpaca heaven I heard through the grape vine. He did have a nice life. In the end, all I had to show him was the trailer and he would hop in, knowing he would be driven to another alpaca breeder for a drive-through mating.
    The act of mating takes long because the female has to ovulate through the mating process. It is complicated.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. hilarycustancegreen Says:

    Croc tail-fillets and Emu cheeks are in short supply at our local (uk) butcher. Alpacas, on the other hand, are very popular and both friends and relatives raise them and they are very charming.

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    • gerard oosterman Says:

      They are charming animals. We enjoyed having them. I was surprised that alpacas are being bred in England. They don’t like dampness. They are from the Altiplano in South America. Very high altitude, cold but dry.

      Like

  14. kaytisweetlandrasmussen83 Says:

    It sounds to me as if there is a sense of longing in your voice as you think about the hour long mating procedure of the alpaca. How does H. feel about that?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. gerard oosterman Says:

    One hour would be stretching the whispering of sweet little nothings I think. I would need a couple of pancakes in between. ;)

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  16. ThePoliticalVagina Says:

    Croc is like chicken – muddy chicken! I always fantasised about having an Alpaca and weaving it’s wool or was that a Llama? A push me pull you (Dr Doolittle) :)

    Like

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